Love Me Now. (Book 1)

chapter 12:- catch ups and old times

Ryder walks towards us, bag slung over his shoulder hair disheveled and wet, flickers of light shining from the bud of his cigarette.

"When are you going to cut that out?" His mother pinches the cigarette out of his before having a quick puff flicking the ash to the floor with her fingers.

"Says you mum." Ryder full on laughs.

Ryder drives his car to the small Italian, he parks outside letting us get out while he goes off to find parking.

Jenette stating our reservation we are waited to our seats. It's very small and tranquil, with only a few tables and chairs, we sit closest to the window, I sit observing the bypassers walking by while Jenette orders a bottle of Rose zinfandel for us and Ryder a coke.

"How have you been Bianca? "

" I'm doing ok, when you left it took alot of healing but I'm doing great now, I'm making new friends and enjoy my little freedom from my hometown and having independence but I miss my dad.However we have a good chat once a week on the phone. "

"We never meant to leave the way we did Bianca, but we had to, I would hope that Ryder explained to you why before we left, he was truly devastated that he broke your heart by leaving, he went into a down wood spiral partying drinking smoking and going from different girl from week to week. I dont think his been the same since his dad and having to leave you.
To be honest we both lost our hearts the day we buried his dad, I'm probably to blame as I became bitter towards my son, everytime I looked at him I saw his father staring back and I became angry."

" He never told me, he just left me at the graveside and cut me off, never replying to any of my calls or texts. To this day he doesnt tell me, just says you went to protect me!"

"I've never seen Ryder look at anyone else the way he looks at you, he has so much love to give and it's all for you, wont you give him another chance now your both here together?"
Jenette grabs a hold of my hands as she says it.

"I dont know, alot has happened. He doesnt trust me enough to tell me what happened, and he hurt me real bad last week. I thought we could try again and the day he told me he loved he got jealous over Josh and went and slept with Sophie. " my eyes now filling with water.

"Oh sweetheart, he adores you I can tell the way his eyes light up as soon as he see you, I hope he gains your trust and respect again for you to love him as he loves you."

" I do love him, I never stopped loving him, i just dont think the time is right and until he starts to respect himself i cant go there." I stand firm.

"My husband David and me were together for over 25years, childhood sweethearts, I see myself and David in you and Ryder. The last few years before David passed away were difficult  we felt like strangers in our own home, his work became his priority and he never spoke anymore becoming a shell of himself. "

"Ryder never mentioned anything"
I question.

"He wouldn't, Ryder keeps alot to himself, he doesnt want to burden people with his problems. We tried to put on a United front for our family. The day before David died he sat me and Ryder down and explained everything. He had got into a wrong business deal with people he shouldn't have. He had stolen lots of their monies over the years and now they wanted payback."

"Oh god, I didn't know." I'm the one now reaching for her hand.

"You wouldn't know  we didn't tell anyone sweetheart. They gave David an ultimatum he was to kill himself or they would kill him and every single person that he loved, me Ryder and even you sweetheart. "

Tears now running freely down Jenette face.

"We didn't think he would do it, I told him to go to the police, and he promised he would the next day, but when I woke up he was gone, I walked into his study to see it locked.
Me and Ryder tried to pick the lock in the end Ryder knocked it down, but It was too late, he had but a bullet to his head.  I recieved a call the next day from an unknown number saying the debt had been paid, may he rot in the ground and for us to leave this town for good. So that's what we did, we left the day of the funeral not looking back. David wasnt a bad man, he was loving caring and adored his family but the lines got blurred with his business propersions. "

"I didn't know, I always got told it was a heart attack. That's why you left?" I clutch my hand over my mouth in shock.

"We told everyone that too make it easier. "

"Why didn't Ryder tell me, what does he need to protect me from?"

"Even though the debt had been paid with David's death, Ryder still believed they would come after us and hurt us, you, so he cut all ties with you to save you. "

"Why couldn't he tell me, I would have made this work, I would have supported him,loved him." I felt like yelling.

"We cant change the past sweetheart, it's what we do with the future what's makes a difference and defines us as humans." Jenette smiles.

I look directly at Jenette feeling happy that this woman is back in my life.

Jenette wipes away her tears, just as Ryder pulls open the door his black leather jacket on over his tightly fitted black tee with the dirtiest grin on his face.

My heart flutters while my stomach does somersaults. God I love this man, all I ask in return is for his honesty.