Love Me Now. (Book 1)

Bonus Chapter

Standing looking over the pier, the blazing sun reflecting on the beautiful blue ocean from below me.
Im most thankful for days like today, coming to the seafront and standing on this same spot with no care in the world, just to release all my worries away, I stand rubbing my swollen stomach knowing everything going to be ok, we're finally going to be a family. 
The slight gust of wind and the creaking of the rickety old wooden panels nailed to the pier startle me out of my comfort spot, before turning my head, hands engulf my waist securely being placed with mine on my stomach.

"Everything going to be ok baby girl, dont over think it." Ryder leans into my ear whispering.

"Ummm" Is all I can motion.

7months pregnant with a healthy beautiful baby growing so perfectly we decided to take a babymoon to have one last vacation before the sleepless nights and constant feeds.
Id often get up before Ryder and leave the holiday apartment we rented for two weeks overlooking the beautiful beaches of Bournemouth and watch the sunrise, I'd stand here for hours sometimes before hed realise and sneak up behind me , holding me tight like he never wanted to let me go.
Part of me could stay like this forever, moments like this make me realise how lucky I am to have the man I love, a child on the way knowing that our future together is bright.

Resting my head into the crook of Ryder neck, I feel his body tense almost stiff, lifting my head to look at him, his eyes are not set on mine looking straight ahead, his eyes clouded with tears as I watch them trical down his face.

Pulling away from his grasp so I can fully turn around and look and him and that's when its hits me, how could I have been so naive so stupid to believe a single word he every said, he was playing with me all over again like he always did.

"Come on babe, have you told her yet? " the voice of the person I hoped I'd never see.

"Sophie." I whisper yell through gritted teeth as I look past Ryder to her with her same smug expression on her face, her flawless skin and her hair bouncing freely in the wind.

"What does she mean, havent you told me what Ryder?" I tsk.

"I'm so sorry Bee, it was never meant to be like this It was never meant to go this far?" He wipes his eyes with his hand.

"What, what the fuck wasnt meant to go this far?" I stand confused at his admission.

"Oh sweetheart,it was all a game, you were just easy bait, we had bets on how long it would take before you opened your legs for Ryder again. " Sophie comes from out off the sidewalk with the biggest grin on her face, but its not that what kills me it's the pushchairs she has glued to her hands with a crying baby inside.

The wind starts to increase and the clouds turn dark a storm clearly lurking around the corner.

"Is this true?" I spit at Ryder.

"It was never meant to......"

"I asked you a question, is it fucking true? Was I just a game to you after everything? I'm having your baby? Just fucking tell me the truth? " I scream.

"Yes. I fucked up. I'm so fucking sorry." His voice full of emotions as I just stand looking on.

"We have a baby on the way?" I yell.

"I have Sophie and a beautiful daughter, I'm sorry i just dont have time for another baby." Its barely a whisper but I hear his words what cut me like a knife.

"But all this, this holiday, why if you we're playing me?" I yell.

"Oh sweetheart, this was just the icing on the cake, we had to make it exciting for us just as much as you, didnt you every wonder why he'd disappear in the middle of the day, or sometimes at night or why hed take ages to wake up in the morning to find you. Its cause he was coming to see me and his daughter. " Sophie rolls her head back laughing.

"Your sick, you Bastard, you fucking played me like a fool now my child is going to grow up without a father. " I scream at Ryder as I continue to punch at his chest.

Grabbing a hold of my hands he pushes them down, letting me collapse in a heap on the cold wooden floor.

"I'm sorry Bee, i did love you once, it's just I love Sophie more. " With that Ryder walks away and leaves me crying hysterically clutching a hold of my stomach, our unborn child as the pitter pattering of rains falls around me.

"Sssshhhhhh, it's ok, everything's fine sweetheart." I gasp as I'm awoken, my father standing over my bed with a glass of water.

I wipe the sweat away from my head, and cradle my belly.

"You really need to talk to someone, you cant go on having these night terrors, this is the 3rd one this week already?" My dad expresses to me.

"I fine dad, dont worry, it's just hormones from the pregnancy il be fine. " I said as I sip my water.

"Promise me if these keep happening, that you'll seek help?" He erges me.

'Promise." I said as my dad kisses my forehead and closes the bedroom door behind him.

It was just a nightmare I sigh in relief, everything was running smoothly with my pregnancy until I got to around 7months pregnant and then the nightmares started, i have the same one over and over again they start out happy and end up with me screaming hysterically until my dad comes running in and Wakes me.
It's my fault they started, you see when I finally got to around my 7month mark, that was the time Sophie and Ryder would be expecting there child and I know I shouldn't have but I went on social media and there it was clear as day a photo on Sophie facebook page, a beautiful black and white print of 3 hands, a little babys a female and a mans all holding each other so warmly.
It killed me to see that, so I promised myself I wouldn't go on her social media again and I havent since but these nightmares just wont go away.

I rub my belly knowing that its us against the world and that whatever happens me and my unborn child are going to be ok.