Love Me Now. (Book 1)

chapter 33:- The long road to recovery.

Since I packed all my belongings and ran away as fast as I could.
I didnt look back, I terminated my phone only sending a message to Mia with my new number on strict instructions not to pass it on to anyone.

I went back home to my little life back in Northamptonshire, where nothing seems to have changed apart from more coffee shops and poundshops popping up in ever Avenue.

My dad took me in with open arms and allowed me to cry on him every single night.

He suggested I take counselling to help me over come my fears and become a stronger person. Of course I denied this telling him I was strong enough to do it on my own.

Mia had texted to see if I had arrived home safely and wishing me luck with the future.

Two weeks had passed when my dad started to get the phone calls.
It started with the one asking if he had heard from me, my dad told me that he wanted to know where I was, that he loved me and it was a lie, whatever that meant.

My dad was on strict orders that he couldn't tell him I was back home, knowing Ryder he if he had found out he would have been straight here.

It then became a weekly occurrence, once a week on a friday evening at the same time he would ring the house landline and speak to my dad just for any updates.

My dad never pushed for me to speak to him and I admiring him for that.

Then after two months the phone calls just stopped. I guess he didnt really care for me after all and just gave up.
Maybe he had started dating again,    maybe him and Sophie decided to give their relationship a chance for the sake of their unborn child.

God she would be 5months pregnant bu now, they would know the sex of the baby. Their baby.

I run to the toilet being sick for the third time this morning. 3weeks after coming back home I have had this god awful stomach bug, i cant eat anything, cant even keep drink down long enough, at least once a day I'm throwing it all back up.
This morning has been worse and I'm putting it down to my anxiety of over thinking to much about Ryder and Sophie's child.
I made the choice to leave, yes I loved him but I'd always be the third wheel if their relationship and I couldn't do it to myself or to him.

Grabbing a tissue and wiping my face, I flush the toilet.
Turning the cold water on in the sink I splash my face with water.

I decide to venture out and get some fresh air along one of the country parks.

Tugging my Jean's up my legs, zipping the zip and button, the button pops back, god I knew I'd put on weight but not this much especially this quickly.

I quickly fumble with my phone on the bed and bring up my calendar back tracking the dates.

My phone starts to shake in my hands when I realises, it all makes sense now, the sickness, lack of appetite, the sore boobs, and now my weight gain. God I cant be.

I quickly slip off my Jean's pulling on some leggings instead and rush out the door heading to the nearest pharmacy.

30minutes later I'm sitting on the toilet trying to wee in a cup.
Why is it when you need to wee, you never can!

"Finally." I sigh in relief.

Opening the packaging and placing the stick in the urine cup. I remove it.
Patiently waiting for the results. It says 2minutes.

I pace the bathroom, up and down up and down waiting for the time to be over.

Reading the instructions again.

1 line= not pregnant.

2 lines= pregnant.

Lifting up the stick, I stare at it. . .

Two lines.

I collapse to the floor, I'm pregnant, working out the dates I remember back to our anniversary, the planetarium.

"Shit, I'm three months pregnant" I gasp in shock. Why had I been so naive not to realise sooner.

Deciding to take the cowards way out, I choose not to tell Ryder, I mean how can I tell him his going to be a father again after already expecting a baby with Sophie and not hearing from me in the last two months.

I'm not depriving him of being a father to our child,  I'm just choosing to make it easier, this way he can concentrate on the other child.

I know right then that I'm three months pregnant and I'm going to be a single mum, but I know I'll be the best mother I can be to my unborn child unlike my mother who walked out on me, i wont follow in her footsteps.

This baby has given me a reason for living, a reason to start again and that's what I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

The End.

Thank you all for taking the time out to read my story "love me now"

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If you'd like to continue following Bianca and Ryder's story then "love me always" book 2 is complete and ready to read.

Maybe they get their happy ever after. . . . . . . .