𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒 // 𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐞

1.10

the next morning at 9, mitchel awoke in his bed, still holding onto sierra with his head using her boob as a pillow. the hangover feeling from the coke had dismissed itself from his body, he felt normal again.

the only reason the feeling left was because he was in sierras arms. he was with her, in her touch, touching her, its what kept him alive at this point. sierras arm was wrapped around his neck and her fingers lingered in his messy hair, her injured arm on the side and resting on her stomach.

mitchel wanted to know why she had a broken arm, but he was also terrified of the answer. he was worried that his bad boy additude had rubbed off a bit too hard on her and now she was getting into drugs. he was worried that because he hid his addiction that she tried to figure out what was going on with him, and tried blow. mitch worried about sierra enough already, but with the possibility she was getting into drugs; he was 10 times more worried.

sierra was still fast asleep, snoring lightly. 3 xans had been so much for her, she had to lie to the doctor at the ER when they tested her blood. she had to say she was drugged by her ex; even though they both secretly knew the "ex" was her. she wasnt dreaming, she was having one of those deep slumbers where you fall asleep then wake up and remember nothing about your dream.

sierra slowly awoke and hadnt opened her eyes yet when she felt mitchel sit up and lean back on the headboard. she moved her head to his shoulder and held onto his arm just a bit without knowing, she just really didnt want to wake up.

but soon, the annoying headache that followed after someone does a drug for the first time followed and sierra was forced to open her eyes. she groaned in annoyance and pain, the sun peaking through mitchels curtains and shining right into her eyes.

"fuck," she groaned as she sat up next to mitchel and made eye contact. she had the worst headache ever and she also did not want to deal with the whole "talk".

"we're going to have to talk about it at some point," mitchel pointed out, which is something sierra was internally begging for him to not say. she groaned and rubbed her eyes, trying to avoid the numerous bruises.

"what my arm or last night?" she avoided the topic even though she knew it was usless. she knew that mitchel was going to reclarify what he meant and that her stalling wasnt going to help.

"you know what i meant. but we will talk about your arm after we talk about... the other thing." he added, turning to the girl as she cuddled her head on his shoulder. mitch was so eager about talking about them, he wanted sierra to know that he has feelings for her. and of course sierra wanted him to know her feelings for him. but she didnt know what her feelings are.

sierra struggles to realize what feelings are romantic/sexual and what feelings are platonic. it took her months of being friends with casilda to realize that she wasnt into her like that. and it was worse with mitchel. she didnt need to know that he doesnt have feelings for her, she needs to know what her feelings for him are. obviously she had more than "friends" feelings, but she was just confused if that was actually what they were. for all she knew, her heart could be lying.

"cici. we cant just keep stalling. obviously, we need to talk about it. because 3 days ago we didnt talk about it and the next time we saw eachother i was on the floor with my nose a bloody fountain and you were trying to save me with a broken arm," he explained, and finally realizing that what he did those days ago; was relapse. he had actually done drugs and nearly killed himself. if it wasnt for sierras impecable sense of danger he would be dead right now.

on top of relapsing, mitchel had also accidentaly traumatized the hell out of sierra.

sierra always lived a "safe" life. her parents never did drugs or drank around her, they kept her a far distance from anyone they even imagined could be dangerous, and they always listened to her when she was uncomfortable. that is, until, claire got to the 11th grade. she had gone through some serious shit. she was raped, she was diagnosed with depression and PTSD, and all of her grades dropped resulting in severe guilt from her teachers dissapointment.