𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒 // 𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐞

1.16

song of the chapter: as the world caves in- matt maltese

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sleeping.

a normal human function needed to survive. scientists say that humans can't and will not survive after getting 0 seconds of sleep for a week. right? well, yes. but sierra has since proved those scientists WRONG.

she has officially made it 8 days without sleep, and is somewhat alive.

sitting criss cross applesauce in her made bed on her laptop writing lyrics, is a very tired sierra who just took one of her adderals for her ADHD at 3 in the morning because she doesnt want to sleep.

sleep = bad morning withdrawals.

and, because xanax gives some of the most dangerous withdrawals known, sierra stays awake to avoid them. and google says she should only expirience 9 days of withdrawal for her ammount of abuse and frequency.

people, such as doctors, would definitley not reccomend what sierra is doing, but she doesnt listen anyways.

sierra was just writing lyrics to match the new song they'd created. they already had a name, "i never existed". they really enjoyed the beat and sections of the song, now came the difficult part. writing lyrics to match the song.

they hadnt really discussed the meaning of the song, even though everyone knew it except mitchel.

sierra based the lyrics on she and mitchels separation and then him getting with lauren. so, because of that, sierra kept crying whenever she wrote lyrics for it. so to be kind to herself she and kras decided that he would have a verse and not her.

while chris was working on his verse, sierra worked with mitchel on the rest of it. kras and cas were in sierras room, which made their communication easy, but sierra and mitchel still hadnt grown the balls to work in the same room or on facetime together, so they communicated through text.

"you guys seriously need to grow up." chris announced, while watching sierra type along on her keyboard. she sighed and shook her head.

"i wish it was that easy. you dont just fall in love with someone and then "breakup" and recover in a few days!" sierra responded with hurt in her voice, the stinging of a kanker sore from her lack of sleep lingering.

"you're practically my sister, so it hurts to see you in such hurt," casilda sided with her boyfriend, to which sierra just rolled her eyes and continued to type.

So you can take the pressure when he finds out
So go and take me off of your wish list
Go on 'cause I'm keeping my distance
Go and tell him that I never existed

the words typed onto her word document stared at her, as she tried to deny the memories behind the lyrics. she had to change the "her" to "him", to try and hide the fact that its about mitty.

in that moment when sierra remembered the guilt and unknown feeling she felt when mitchel came up on her at the club like that, sierra felt a sense of; jealousy.

she'd never been a jealous person. instead of jealousy, sierra just wanted it to be known that she is no side bitch. but now, sierra envied lauren more than she could ever believe.

and not just because she was with mitchel. but also because she was the most perfect woman ever. she was kind, loving, and actually not going to break mittys heart because she was scared. but she was also thin, and built so well. she had sierras dream body. thin, big ass, big boobs, perfect in anyones eyes. lauren was everyones dream girl.

so yeah. sierra was jealous. anyone in her situation would be.

so she fed on the jealousy, and started working on the chorus.