Somebody To Hold (Book 0.5) (AU series) - INTERSEX

Chapter Forty-Seven

Josephine

As of 24 hours or so ago, I was abstinent, and neither of the women who broke that are aware that it was my first time. I had not engaged in sexual intercourse in over three years. I never allowed anyone to touch my body after what happened to me. I was in a prison in my own mind... until I met them. Slowly, those metal bars that locked me away have been bent and broken, releasing me from my cage.

Having sex with Alex was just as breathtaking as the initial experience with both of them. Except this time, I was able to defeat the demons that haunted my mind. There were no flashbacks or reminders of my past, just Alex's green eyes staring back at me. Easing me into it. Relaxing my mind and helping me to conquer my fears. It was like I was floating on air in their presence. Something I didn't know I needed until now.

Alexandria stands from the bed and picks me up bridal style. Elli jumps on her back, and we all laugh as she carries both of us to the bathroom. She turns on the shower and sits me on the counter. "Okay koala. Time to get down," she says, sitting Elliot on the other side of the sink. Her words are always so gentle but demanding.

She reaches over the sink, grabbing our toothbrushes, putting toothpaste on mine and Elli's. She hands them to us and grabs her own, doing the same. We all sit there, smiling at each other as we brush our teeth. It's such a simple task but doing it in the proximity of each other makes it meaningful.

I would love to wake up like this every morning. Not just to sex with them, but to feel safe enough to be myself and to be so carefree. To not be afraid of someone violating my body in the way it was for eight years.

We each spit and rinse before El and I hop off the counter, following Alex to the shower. While we shower, I observe them and their personalities some more. Elliot is always the easy going, playful one, while Alex is the serious one... but she always gives in to Elliot and loves spoiling her. They are complete opposite, but their love for each other is unconditional.

I dream about sharing that love with someone one day. Maybe even with them. But there's still a voice in the back of my mind screaming at me, "You don't deserve love. You are too damaged," and though I don't want to believe it, a few good nights with them isn't enough to banish it. It will take time. Time that I'm hoping they will stick around to help me with.

I watch as Elliot splashes water around and Alex hugs her, forcing her arms down her sides. They giggle together, grabbing my arms, and pulling me into their embrace. The shower is filled with a lot of kissing, emotions, and laughter. They both take turns washing my body, committing every curve and scar to memory. I no longer feel shy under their gaze.

After finally finishing our shower, we get dressed for the day. Elliot and I go to wake the kids while Alex goes to make everyone breakfast. El goes to Camden's rooms and points me to Addy's. I walk into her room and see her sprawled out on her bed sleeping peacefully.

I move her long brown hair from her face, and her eyes slowly open. "Good morning Princesa," I whisper.

She grins and sits up to hug me. "You're still here."

"Addy baby, I told you I am here as long as you want me to be," she smiles and gets up to get ready for school.

"I'll meet you downstairs," she nods and goes to the bathroom to shower.

As I walk downstairs, the smell of bacon and eggs fill my nose. I take a seat at the table, and Elliot sits on my lap. I treasure her clingy tendency towards me more than she knows. Alex places a plate in front of both of us, but the smell immediately irritates her stomach. She cups her mouth, running to the bathroom.