Hell And Silence

32) I'm Fragile And Weak

I wake up. A gasp as I try to flutter my eyes open. It's hard. Soon the light is shooting like arrows at my eyes.
Nothing but light for a moment, but slowly the "room" gets its contrasts.
A hospital room?
What?

Someone's breathing on my neck, I try to move my gaze to the source.
Daniel.
Tears stream down his face as our gaze meet.

"D-Daniel?" I stutter quietly with a voice crack.

He cries as he kisses my forehead.
"I'm so glad you're alive...,"

People other than Daniel start gathering around my bed, talking about how much they've missed me.
Is this real?

"W-what happened?" I stutter, trying to maintain physical contact distance with everyone except Daniel.

Guilty looks everywhere.

"You have been in a coma for 5 days, Amy. It was that damn guy again. He was about to kill you. Someone called the police. He's in prison. You're fine," Daniel explains and takes my hand.
"Oh,"

Slowly I'm feeling my limbs. The pain is slowly crawling up them. I can't help to let out a sharp gasp and tense my sore muscles.

So I've been weak. I could've done something!

Jill and I start talking as everyone walks out. Then it's Daniel's turn. His eyes are filled with hate and sadness.
The hate is not against me, it's against that guy.

I understand him.
I would do the same if Daniel was in my place.

A death wish upon my heart as I think about the things I could've done instead of "taking" it.
"It's my fault," I mutter.
"No it's not,"
"Whatever,"

My life energy is so low that I have no motivation anymore. Nothing is driving me.
I'm just an empty shell.

I see the worry spreading in Daniel's eyes as I said that. He knows that's not me.

I take a look at our intertwined hands, letting mine out, just to look at it. My hand is so skinny.
And so cold.

Daniel quickly wraps his bigger hand around mine, to make it warm.
"It's cold," I state.
"Yeah. I love you, Amyrose Blom....," He chuckles and kisses my knuckle.
I let out a small giggle.

"I love you too, Daniel,"

His kisses brings warmth upon my cold heart.

He tells me about school, what've missed and other stuff. I listen to him patiently, forcing myself not to press my lips against his every second of his presence.
We kiss and honestly, I feel happy.

But as soon as there's nothing to distract me, I feel depressed.
Hopeless.
Helpless.
Sadness.
I could've done something.

Aja feels guilty, so does Lexi.
But I forgive them. It's just me not being strong enough. That's why I'm here.

"I'm weak, Daniel. I'm weak...,"
"No, you're NOT,"
"I could've done something...,"
"No. You couldn't. That's why you're here. Because of him, not you,"

We kiss. He promised me to come back tomorrow.
Here I am, once again.
Alone.

I've been in the hospital for about a week now. Today, I'm gonna leave.

Daniel has every day hung out with me here.
Every day, he brings two white roses. He knows I like the white ones. And how much I love him.

I'm really skinny now because I haven't gotten any time to move so my muscles are disappearing. Also, the only time I eat is when Daniel's here because no energy and he forces me to eat.
I'm just lying helplessly here, waiting for something to do. Been anxious about being able to move by my own. Sadly, my legs are still weak from not using them in a great amount of days.
It depresses me that I'm dependent on people now. Only for doing the easiest of things for me. Annoying!