I look at the way Jessy is speaking right now. Wayne is listening with passion. He loves her. The depression is poisoning me. My anxiety have forces me to walk away from so many things. When I was younger, I used to try to make friends all the time. But I suddenly stopped. They weren’t gonna stay. Moving and stuff. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can hang.
Without any “last-time” thoughts. As I grew up, I became more and more of a loner. I found myself in drawing and writing songs. In my drawings I would draw about girls with perfect lives.
Their parents loved them.
They were rich. They had friends. They had pets.
They could eat whenever they wanted from the fridge, without thinking about if they’re really hungry.
I quickly dry off a tear. I’m thinking of all the days when my mom was alive. School served food, thankfully. But the summer breaks. I would go hungry for days because of my mom spending all of her money on alcohol. She’d buy food, but not without telling me to only eat when I’m really hungry. I shake my head. Such painful memories. Jessy don’t know about that part. Jessy is awesome. Sure, she’s a bit bullied, but almost everyone likes her. I've been bullied all my life. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the “I want to change school” crap. The authorities were kind enough to do that randomly.
Hah.
And then 7th grade was the worst. I was physically and psychologically bullied. A white scar runs down my shoulder to my chest, reminding me of one time when I got stabbed. It was THAT serious. Daniel wraps his arm around my neck carefully and pulls me to him to kiss my cheek. I really love him…
I giggle. Jessy lets out a little squeak. I roll my eyes. My crazy best friend…
“You’re my best OTP….,”
Daniel looks at me, demanding an explanation.
“What about you and Wayne then?” I say sarcastically. Jessy hugs Wayne by the neck and almost hang on him.
“I ship us the most…,” She says. I look at her before making a gun with my fingers, “shooting” myself,
“That was the weirdest cheesiest thing, ever…,” I laugh. Jessy is still looking Wayne in the eyes. Yeah. Cheesy. Overload of cheesiness.. Blagh. I shake my head and lean against Daniel.
They finally eat up their pizza so we walk out. We say our goodbyes and go to our cars. I have my head leaned against Daniel while he drives. This night, was actually great. Fun.
“What’s an OTP?” Daniel asks. I break out in laughter. He would never talk to Jessy if he knew… I try to calm myself. Daniel widen his eyes, waiting for an answer.
“It’s... It’s... Just look it up, it’s hard to explain…,” I say and try not to laugh again. Daniel nods. We arrive at my house, it’s late now. I sigh. Not a sad one, just happy. I liked this night. It was nice. I smile. Daniel moves closer and kisses me. After a while I smile again.
“I have to get back inside,” I say as our foreheads lean on each other.
“Ok,"
As I enter, I find Jill sitting on the couch, reading.
“Hey…,” She says and closes the thick book.
“How was it?” She continues.
“Awesome! Did the doctor say anything?”
“He said that I’m just tired, that I should eat more vegetables and walk outside more,”
“That’s good, right?”
YOU ARE READING
Hell And Silence
Fanfiction16 year old Amyrose Blom has always been a outcast. She is a little different than others and constantly depressed when she's alone. Her life has been filled with things a child should never experience. Being constantly moved between different foste...
