Monachopsis- the persistent feeling of being out of place.
~~2 months later ~~
"Nala I know you left me in charge while you've been on your hiatus, but I really need to know if you're coming back soon?!" Ashley whined through the phone. Since that whole situation with my children's fathers occurred, I haven't been back to the club at all. I just couldn't bring myself to put on a front and fake a smile.
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I left Ashley to do some of my every day in-house duties while I handled the rest from home.
"If it's the toilet call the plumber..." I added rolling my eyes. The way she calls me panicking you'd think her job was hard. "If a light is out just change the bulb."
"No, it's not any of that!" she cried.
"So, what's the problem???" I sigh just knowing It was going to be something minor.
"I have midterms I need to study for" she replied. "If I fail another class my parents WILL cut me off!"
"Your 22 with a decent job. what won't kill you will make you stronger" I huff and hung up and laid in my bed for a minute looking up at the ceiling. I just wasn't in a good mood today.
It was Friday afternoon and BB took all the kids out for an ice cream date after school, so I was alone.... Been alone in this room for hours. I wasn't mad nor upset about anything, I just didn't feel like playing "nice Nala" for anyone. But being stuck in this room for the rest of my life wasn't going to do me any good and it definitely wasn't going to make me any money....
I grabbed my phone and called Ashley back, I knew I was being a bitch and her phone rung twice before she picked up. There was an awkward silence between for 30 seconds before I spoke. "Take a week off.."
"Nala no you can't fire me!!!" She cried out and I instantly grew agitated. "Girl!!" I huffed, "I said take the week off, I did not say anything about being fired! You been holding it down while I've been going through whatever I been going through." I rolled my eyes.
I hated speaking on the situation but seeing how I'm connected to "The two" I'm connected to a good portion of my personal life has been splattered across blogs and even though they really haven't been able to put all the pieces together it's still fucked up because I really can't defend myself without telling all my business.
I would never want to see: "Rapper Banks' baby mother is his new step-daughter". I would slit my fuckin' wrist so fast and drive my car of a cliff for good measure.
"Nala you there!" Ashley called from the other end of the phone. "Yea I'm here." I say snapping back to reality. "What did you say?"
"I just asked were you ok..." I could hear the concern in her voice. I instant setup and put on my signature fake smile like she could actually see my face.
