Finally Found You (Loki x Gender Neutral Reader)

Chapter 16 - Just Wait Until Y/n Finds Out

1186 words

3rd person pov

It is 11am, Loki gently strokes Y/n's hair as they sleep. He smiles thinking how adorable they look. The feel of their hair send him back, it's nostalgic. It's home.

The fragile serenity faulters as Steve and Bruce quietly enter the room. Bruce cleared his throat and whispers, "Loki?"

"Yes?" He whispers back.

Bruce shifts his weight about awkwardly from foot to foot. "I don't want to ruin the moment, but Stephen said Y/n is going to be put on bed rest for at least a week. Can you take them to their room carefully? When you are, um, ready of course."

"Of course, now leave us." he then turns back to Y/n.

"Yes, sorry." Bruce walks backwards, almost tripping on the open door. Steve looks confusingly at Bruce, shakes his head and leaves with him.

"Don't worry Y/n, I'll take care of you."Loki scoops Y/n's body up and into his chest. As they stir a little, he awws and heads out of the lab and towards Y/n's re-bedded room. His legs glide as he stride not wanting to wake his sleeping bean.

As he reaches their door, it opens with a swirl of green mist, and he glides inside, gently placing Y/n on the new, unincinerated bed.

Loki sighs, pulling the duvet over their shoulders, tucking them in. He sits on the edge of the bed for a while, thinking about what Thor doesn't want him to, how similar Y/n looks to Y/an. Eventually he leaves Y/n's room to make them both some lunch.

In the kitchen he spots Tony sitting at the isle with a cup of coffee. Loki takes a subtle deep breath before grabbing a few slices of bread to start making a sandwich with Y/n's favourite filling. He lightly smiles to himself knowing how exited Y/n gets with their favourite foods.

"Hey Rudolf! You better not be taking advantage of Y/n, they are just a kid!" Tony shouts across the worktop.

"They aren't a kid! We are technically of the same developmental age. And of course I'm not taking advantage of them-"

"I'm just saying, that Y/n is not ok in the head. They are vulnerable."

Loki sighs and decides to focus on finishing the sandwich. But Tony's concern is nagging him, "How do you mean Stark?"

Tony puts his coffee down, tapping the edge of the mug, "Have you seen how many times they zone out, almost crying. I know they have been happier lately, but I still see signs of PTSD or something simmilar." He sighs and stares down at the isle before saying, "I am beginning to consider calling a therapist for them."

"I can assure you that I only have their best interest in mind, and I agree that a therapist would be beneficial."

Thor enters and sits down on one of the bar stools, stuffing his face with pop tarts, "Tony, let my brother be. He isn't harming Y/n, and why are you so protective of them?"

"Me? Protective? I'm only making sure that they don't get exploited for their bomb powers!"

"Exploited?!" Loki spits, "how dare suggest such a horrible thing, I would never do that to Y/n!"

"It's not like you haven't used any of us before to carry out mass killings, you were born with a cold heart, no? Once a snake, always a snake!"

Loki slams the butter knife on the counter. After that the air grows thin with a piercing silence. Thor looks between Loki and Tony, deciding that he might have to step in to avoid a full blown fight. "Tony, that's too far." He stands in front of Tony, expecting Loki to go ballistic, but Loki merely scoffs, jaw tightening. He turns away before anyone can see the pain shimmer in his eyes.

Thor turns to Tony with a cross expression. Tony then holds up his hands and says, "What? I don't trust him!"

"But I do, haven't you noticed how he has changed, you are the only one who doesn't trust him, even Bruce isn't completely avoiding him anymore."

"He is literally called the God of Mischief! That name screams 'I love backstabbing!'" Tony starts to pace the kitchen, "I have to be very careful here Thor, after Ultron, I can't really trust a lot of people not to turn on me. And Loki is probably the most untrustworthy people in this building right now."

"He is starting to make good friends here, I know how important that is to him, you don't have to like him, but show some respect!" Thor pushes past Tony and grabs more pop tarts on his way out.

Loki runs to his room and drops on the floor, hiding his head in his knees and letting some tears escape. He hates what he had done. He hates the fact that he had ruined many lives and as a result his own. It is a lot of guilt to carry and sometimes he just can't hold it anymore. Being reminded of it is always triggering and he tries his best to change for everyone, so he can feel wanted and needed. 

Thor hesitantly knocks on Loki's door, "Loki, may I come in?"

No answer

"Loki?" Thor opens the door to see his little brother in tears. This isn't the first time he knows Loki has cried like this, but it's his first time seeing it as it's happening.

"Get out!" Loki sniffles.

Thor steps in, despite Loki's demand, shuts the door and kneels down to his side, "I'm sorry about what Tony said, he had no right to-"

"He knows too! He knows what it feels like."

"Knows what?" Thor's eyes soften, urging Loki to open up to him.

"What it feels like to be responsible for taking lives. And he never gets shunned, everyone thinks he is a hero, that he can never do anything bad! Everyone forgets what he has done, but me? I can't go out in public without getting abuse from at least seven people." Loki grips his hair, "And I'm trying so hard, so hard to show that I'm not a monster, but everyone seems to think I am... Perhaps they are right..."

 Thor scoots closer, "No Loki, don't listen to them, you know who you are, and I do. I am so proud of you, and the rest of the team are, you know that Bruce is starting to warm up to you!"

Loki frowns even more, "Just wait until Y/n finds out what I have done. Just wait until they find out I'm a monster that parents tell their children about at night..."

"Listen Loki." Thor's hand rests on Loki's shoulder, "If Y/n was really Y/an, then you know they wouldn't care."

"You don't know that."

Thor sighs as Loki shrugs his hand off of his shoulder, he watches how Loki's thoughts scream throught his eyes, "I did all those things after their death!"

Thor sits down and leans his back on the side of Loki's bed, "I promise that no matter what I'll be here for you brother, and I'm sure Y/n will see your true self, which is as far from a monster as anyone can get..." Loki eventually joins Thor, leaning on the bed in silence. Thor leans to brush Loki's shoulder, "...do you want a pop tart?"