BREAKING BOUNDARIES (An RM Fan-fiction)

Chapter 34

Brianna's POV

As soon as Namjoon drove into my house, I got my things from the back seat of his car and also made a mental note to run in as soon as I got off the car. It's freezing cold and I have just a shirt on. I turn to speak to Namjoon.

"Thank you." I said, opening the door to leave. Namjoon just looks at me. He didn't say anything and I wish to have known how to read his expression, but unfortunately, I could not. It was frustrating. I proceeded and got off the car and started dashing towards my house. I opened my door, entered and closed it behind me.

The first thing I did when I got in was to warm the room, it was stupid cold especially when I didn't warm it up for almost twenty four hours. The doorbell ringing made me jump. I went to the door and opened it. Namjoon just stood there, looking me right in the eye. I swear I would've slapped this expression off of his face if I was a tad bit aggressive.

"You've not left?" I asked in a dry tone.

"You think I'm playing with you, don't you?" That was the first thing he said.

"I didn't say that, and get in, it's cold." I said with a hint of attitude in my tone, opening the door wide to let him in, I couldn't stand the cold for another second.

"You think it, deep down. You're scared. You think I'm playing with you, you're trying to avoid me." He paused.
"Look, I'm scared too, I'm scared of you, this feeling I get around you, the decision I'm making, the repercussions, everything but I do not want to run. Fuck, I can't, it's too late for me but please I need you to stop too." His voice is a bit frantic, like he's trying to explain to me in a language that I do not understand. I just stood there, looking at this man. He was right, I'm very scared. Scared of all that he's said he's scared of. The only difference is, I cannot stop stop running, I do not have to stop.

"Brianna, what's wrong? What are you scared of?" He continued.

"Everything you've just said Joon. I'm scared of you and everything you make me feel again. I'm scared of you. I...." I trailed off. I just spit of my fears and speaking it out loud confirms it more for me. I really was scared.
My attitude is gone now. I sat down on the couch, trying really hard to not walk my mind back to where it was a few years back. I internally reminded myself to get it together, that I've come this far.

"I will listen." I felt the seat dip, Namjoon now sitting beside me on the couch.

"I will listen if you want to talk, please. Just don't run." He said again. I do not want to talk about me, my previous relationship and how it has affected me. I just want to let those memories go.

"That's all I know how to do. Run. Don't tell me to stop doing what I do best." I said, forcing a smile to lighten the mood and dodge the conversation.

"Look, I can't tell you anything else but I'm sure about one thing, you were not just sex to me and I mean it." He's now facing me.

"You weren't just sex to me too. That is certain. I just don't want to hurt myself. In anyway possible. I just want peace, clarity, certainty. I don't want confusion Namjoon." I'm now serious again.

"Okay can we at least try dating? Let's see how it goes, let's see how confusing or chaotic it can get then we'll decide?" He tries to make a deal with me.

"Hm." I pretend to think hard.

"You're cute. It's a deal." He said with finality in his voice.

"Why are you deciding for me?" I asked, fake offended.

"You're going to make things hard, that's it. Now it's a deal, you have the right to call the deal off anytime from next month." He said cheekily.

"How about now? You're bossing me about with all these decisions you're taking for me, I'd love to call the deal off now, sir!" I said back, trying so hard to be sassy.

"Thank you." He said, voice serious again.

"You're a scam babe, now you want to just pretend I'm okay with this deal you proposed?" I bit back. I'm trying to be annoying.

"You look hot in my shirt." Namjoon said, his eyes turning dark as he looked me up and down.

"You want me to take it off?" I asked, holding his gaze. His eyes flickered to my lips and back to my eyes again. I didn't take my eyes off off his. I looked at him and took in his features. His eyes are so beautiful, the way they can turn to seductive, innocent and aggressive when he's on stage, it's amazing.

"Give it back before you leave?" I continued, innocently, trying to keep the conversation going. I know I am being a tease right now, I love how he's getting worked up. It's hot to watch.

"I don't mind you taking it of for other reasons. I also do not mind letting you have it though."  He shifted from his seat and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He was having a phone call. He spoke on the phone for about a minute or two and then hung up.

"I have to go, I have some work at the studio." He said, putting his phone back in his pocket, sighing.

"Oh, okay. Run along then." I said to him. He got up to leave.

I went to see him off to the door. I tied my hair up in a bun as I walked behind him. When he reached the door he turned to me.

"I'll call you?" He said, kind of asking for permission to.

"Alright then, thanks. For having me, at your concert, your home anddddd......um, the sex." I said to him. He stepped closer to me and grabbed my chin to kiss me. I kissed him back for a few seconds before pulling back.

"It was amazing, thanks you too. I'll call you when I get home." I nodded and said bye as he turned, opened the door and walked out.

My mind went to the deal. I can pull out if it doesn't serve me right, right? I guess it wouldn't hurt so bad to try, I thought as I got my things from where they lay in the living room and walked up the stairs to my bedroom.

"IT WOULD'NT KILL ME TO TRY". I spoke my thoughts out loud.

RM's SHIRT ON ME!