BREAKING BOUNDARIES (An RM Fan-fiction)

Chapter 22

Brianna's POV

I slept through the rest of yesterday night and morning. I woke up to head banging, making me wince in pain. Why did I drink so much?
Memories of last night's events flashed through my mind like a movie. From the beginning of the night at the club, to me having a heated make out session with RM. Embarrassment took over my bones as I recalled practically begging him to fuck me just to get rejected. I blame it all on the liquor, I'm never drinking again.

I have so much of explanation to give to Jennie. I sure am not including the fact that her favorite idol gave me an orgasm. An orgasm so mind blowing I wanted more. Is it because I haven't been intimate for a whole year or even more? I have managed to not get involved with anyone sexually since Damon. I couldn't let myself cry over a guy anymore. I couldn't let a guy hurt me repeatedly like Damon did me. I decided to focus on work and school until yesterday. I groaned making my head hurt more as I reached for my phone on the bedside table.

I saw missed calls and texts from both RM and Jennie. I opened iMessage and replied to Jennie's messages first telling her I'm gonna call her after I have my shower. I opened RM's messages next.

Namjoon (3:48 am): Hey!. Call me to talk when you can.

Namjoon (9:12 am): Are you up, can you talk? How are you feeling?

Namjoon (12:06 pm): Brianna?

I read all messages and ignored them alongside the missed calls. I couldn't bring myself to reply to him, shame would kill me before I get to say hello to him. I will eventually talk to him, just now right now.

I called Jen and told her to come over to my house so we can talk. She said okay and hung up. I got up to go have my bathe. I untied my hair from its low bun it was in, ruffled it and entered the shower.

Minutes later, I was done and dressed in comfy clothes. I grabbed my phone a headed downstairs to the living room. As I got their, my eyes landed on the couch I nearly had sex with RM last night. I felt both embarrassment and gratefulness, he was decent enough to not go further with it even though I was down for it at that very moment. I might've woke up with regrets because once it's done, it can't be undone. He is a fucking world celebrity. It would've been much more than just sex, because his privacy would've been on the line, I'm guessing, according to the rules of his label at least. Then that would mean I'd be legally tied to them for I don't know how long. I don't want to partake in another of the celebrity business.

I was stood at the bottom of my staircase having this reflective moment of thankfulness when my phone rang again, breaking me from my trance. It was Jen.

I picked up and she told me that she's coming with her little sister, Ara. I excitedly said okay and hung up to order us some food and snacks. I promised Ara that I'd go get her so we'd spend the weekend together but never did. She always calls to remind me but I'm always caught up with school and work. It's a great thing Jennie's bringing her.

I straightened the couch pillows, get the glass cup from the table and took it to the kitchen, the house is clean but I'd need to do some dusting these days. As I was heading back to the living room, Jennie was entering with Ara right behind her.

"Briiii!" She screamed, running straight to my arms. She hugged me tight. I could do this for life.

"Hi baby, I missed you soooo much.!" I said to her while kissing both her cheeks, making her giggle.

"I missed you too, you didn't come to get me." She said, fake pouting.

I'm telling you, this seven year old is the cutest person you'd even get to meet. She has this very great personality for a child her age. I'm sure gonna have a fun weekend.

"I'm sorry, I'd make it up to you, I'll take you out to the fair, get you some ice cream and mani and pedi, sounds good?" I said, my hands on both her cheeks.

"Yayyyy, I want my nails painted pink." She said, excitedly.

"Anything for you, princess." I said, turning my body to look for Jennie.

She came from the kitchen area with a glass of water. I was nervous now and she knows. I smiled weakly at her and she returned my smiled with a tight lipped one.

"You're still mad at me?" I asked, going to get the remote to play something child friendly for Ara.

"At least be a bit transparent with me. What's with you and dude? I mean he came all the way to Hongdae to get you, late at night, without security. These guys don't risk things like that." She was so calm, she didn't sound pissed, just curious and a little worried.

"Honestly, we just talk. Okay, more than you'd think. We haven't stopped talking since we started. Very consistent. I don't know what it means seriously." I said, looking straight to the TV.

"We had a date night, at his house, super friendly and comfortable. Nothing too intimate." I continued.

"Wait, you went to their dorms, for a date night? This is much more serious than you make it seem then?" Jennie looked at me incredulously.

"No, his personal house. Not the dorms or his family house obviously." I said, trying to make things sound better.

"So you know his personal house?! Y'all aren't talking Bri, that's dating. Yunno know that right?" She paused.
"How do you feel about it? About him?" She spoke up again, almost immediately. She just sat their and asked that question.

One thing about Jen, she's so direct it's scary sometimes. I haven't even asked myself that question. How do I feel about this whole thing. About Kim Namjoon.
Am I ready to feel anything?
After Damon?
Can I even feel anything?

That fact that I nearly got fucked by him yesterday says so much. I've been celibate for so long, haven't kissed and made out. Having that little level of intimacy with him yesterday, what does that mean? Granted I was drunk, but I wasn't unconscious. My subconscious wanted it. That alone says a lot.