BREAKING BOUNDARIES (An RM Fan-fiction)

Chapter 33

Brianna's POV

I spoke to my Mom on the phone while I waited for Namjoon to be done working. We stayed on the phone nearly thirty to forty five minutes. As soon as I hung up, I went to the bathroom to fix my hair. I started gathering my things so I could leave as soon as Namjoon comes back up. I've stayed longer than I expected. I wasn't really okay with Yoongi seeing me here this morning.

I mean, I do not even know them and they do not know me as well. I do not want to give no one a wrong impression about me, I am not a hooker and sure not a one night stand girl, this situation I have with Namjoon just happened. I don't even know what to think of it. I clearly am very attracted to him but I have no idea what this is and where it's headed.

I sat back after doing my hair and neatly folding my clothes from yesterday still waiting for Namjoon. I was contemplating texting him that I really need to leave and before I decided, he came in the room with a food tray in his hand.

"Hey, you good? I made Toast and coffee." He said, walking to where I was seated and sat next to me, handing me the tray.

"Thank you, I didn't know you were done." I told him.

"Yeah, we finished like fifteen minutes ago, you said you wanted toast so I thought I'd just bring it here for you. Yoongi said bye, by the way." He chuckled at the last part.

I sighed. "I didn't know I'd have a running with him. I was shy."  I said, smiling a bit.

"I know, you handled him well though, he was trying to pull your legs." I nodded and continued eating. A few minutes later I was done. I just sat peacefully not doing anything, just allowing my food to digest and randomly chatting with Namjoon as he went around opening his curtains to let natural light enter the room fully.

"I need to get going." I said after some seconds of silence.
I stood up to take the tray down to the kitchen but Namjoon signaled me to put it on the headboard.

"I'll take it when going out. Why do you want to leave?" He asked, looking up at me. His face was so neutral you wouldn't know what to think.

"Shouldn't I?" I asked with a pint of seriousness in my tone.

"Okay, can we please talk before you leave?" He asked, no hint of playfulness in his voice and eyes. He sat back in his previous place on the bed.

"Okayyy? Sure no problem." I said, sitting down beside him.
"What's it?" I asked.

He was silent for sometime, I patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts and words. Eventually, he spoke.

"I like you...... I really, really do. I do not know how you feel and what this is to you but to me, it's more than sex, more than friendship. I want more with you." I looked at his face and I'm not sure what I see, I could swear it's sincerity and hope but what is more to him?

"Are you okay?" I shifted my attention back to him. I've spaced out for a minute.

"What is more?" I asked exactly what my brain wanted to know. I actually know, I just want to hear it from him. I want to hear him say what more is to him.

"Can we at least try dating, to see where this really goes. I mean I'd love to call you my girl cos I'm sure of what I want but maybe the pace at which we go matters to you, I do not mind taking it as slow and smooth as possible." I was just there. Seated. I spaced out again. Namjoon had to call my name to get me back to the conversation.

"I don't know. I don't know if I can do it." I was shaking my head and not looking up.

"Okayy... why?" He was calm. How??

"Namjoon it's you! You've got a whole management team which I'm very sure is against you being in dating scandals."  I put hand up for make a quote unquote sign.

"You travel most time of the year, you are crazy stupid famous, I am foreign, very different from you, culturally, at some point morally, I love my privacy, I love my freedom and most of all I love my normal life more than anything in the world. I don't think what you're suggesting could work in either of our favor. I promise you, this isn't just sex to me either, my feelings got ahead of me too but realistically, we cannot be together. That's just it." I ranted, desperately looking into his eyes, hoping he'd understand my point.

"Hey.... Calm down." He said, grabbing my hands.

"I get it. I totally understand and I am really sorry that I cannot convince you of how much I like you. I'm not telling you to throw your beautiful life away. I'd love for you to actually keep living your life however you want it, I've seen you, I've seen how you live, I've spoken to you and through these months I got to know your values. What you care about and the way you see life. Regarding our differences, I do not think I want to let that be a barrier to whatever big or little thing we have, that would be foolish of us. And regarding our management, contracts can be changed. I'm willing to do that. Please, we can learn of our differences while we date. You said this isn't just sex for you too. Can we just give it a try? I'll take care of your privacy, whatever time you want us public is when we'll go public and if not at all then I'm perfectly okay with it." He is such calm and composed human being. There clarity in his voice, and the certainty too. I'm a bit conflicted.

"You said you cannot convince me." I said, folding my hand on my chest with a pout, looking directly into his eyes.

"I did?" He tilted his head sideways, his tone playful.

"A tad bit, I need to get going." I want to run. I'm a runner. I mean, I ran miles to get away from an ex. What can you expect?

"Why do you need to get away from me so fast? This feels like a one night stand." He said, dramatically. I looked at him with a poker face.

"I'm joking. Don't go?" He said more like a question.

"I have work at home. I'm a busy human too." I said, fake offended.

"Okay, fair enough. Be my girlfriend then?" Namjoon said, tone half serious.

"You are The RM. Why are are you begging a girl for a relationship. I'm sure anyone would kill to be with you anyway. Can I please wear one of your shirts to get home?" I turned to ask him.

"Sure, grab whatever." I opened his closet and grabbed a white button down shirt.

I went to the bathroom to get dress. The shirt was an over shirt on me, I opened two buttons, wore my jewelry from yesterday and headed back to the living room to wear my shoes. Namjoon wasn't in the room when I came back. A few minutes later, he came back. I was done and ready to leave now.

"You done?" He asked.

"Yeah, umm, I can get an Uber." I suggested.

"I'll take you home." He said in an annoyed tone. This is the first time I've ever heard it.

He grabbed his keys and we headed out. The drive was quick and extremely quiet. What's with the indifference??