CHASING YOUTH. wsn ✓

008.

i've lost my right to cry for you.

—

"is that choi san and choi yerim?"

"i thought they were cousins! just—just look at their visuals!"

"no cousins touch each other like they do. you know how i feel about my cousin."

wooyoung had his eyes widened and mouth open. there was no way san was dating someone two days into their senior year. perhaps san really did just change for him and after their fight yesterday, he already got a hookup and a girlfriend. how typical of the king himself.

yunho nudged wooyoung and the younger tore his eyes away from san and yerim, "weren't you two all lovey dovey and flirting literally just yesterday? what the hell happened?"

wooyoung opened his mouth, wanting to tell yunho what had happened between the two, that wooyoung had called something san didn't like and he didn't apologise for it. it was wooyoung's fault. he knew it was his fault, but how should he fix it? flowers? notes? what the hell, wooyoung, you're not in a fucking fanfiction.

"nothing. i just—nothing really happened. it's just who he is, i guess." wooyoung shrugged it off, shoving his books into his locker a bit harshly. yunho winced, feeling the pain the books must've felt when wooyoung so aggressively pushed them in, "are you sure nothing happened?"

"yes, yunho." wooyoung snapped, before realising how mean he sounded, "i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. i had no right to do that. it was just a rough morning for me."

yunho raised his eyebrow, "i thought you slept at 10 last night."

"precisely my point." wooyoung grumbled. his insomnia kicked in once again when school started. that was usually what happens — he gets his normal eight hours of sleep during the holidays and his insomnia just loves to disturb him during the school term. it's almost like his own body didn't want him to do school.

yunho sighed, "the insomnia's back again?" upon wooyoung nodding his head, yunho continued, "are you sure you don't think it's a problem? i mean, you've been having it since we were in freshman year and we're now seniors. it's been four years! please, wooyoung, just go and get it checked out. it wouldn't hurt."

wooyoung weighed out his choices and really, he had none. either wooyoung agrees to yunho and have yunho recommend someone to him, or yunho practically pushes wooyoung into a clinic and have the nurses give them weird looks. wooyoung would prefer not to be judged for his life decisions so soon, thank you very much.

"fine. which one of your doctor aunties or uncles should i go see?"

—

in the end, yunho still accompanied wooyoung to a clinic, where yunho's aunt works and treats regular patients with insomnia. in fact, yunho's aunt helped yunho's cousin with his insomnia so yunho was 100% sure that she was the best doctor they could find in the whole of seoul.

that might be debatable, but wooyoung'll let yunho's boat float.

"jung wooyoung ssi?" a nurse called out. wooyoung got up, shot yunho a quick smile and went into the doctor's room. it was pretty... bland, to say the least, like all doctor's rooms are. there's a few wall paintings — what's with doctors and wall paintings? — hung around the rectangular room, a brown sofa against the beige walls, and the doctor herself sitting behind a beige desk. she's really going for the beige, brown tones here and not gonna lie, it does make wooyoung feel quite comfortable and cozy.

"hey, there," the woman behind the desk smiled and wooyoung started to see the resemblance between her and yunho. "you're yunho's friend, correct?"

wooyoung nodded, a small smile tugging on his lips as well, "yes, um, dr kim?"

dr kim smiled, "yes, dr kim. you're really good friends with yunho, i assume then, to know his mother's maiden name. please, sit down, wooyoung ssi, and we'll dive on deeper into your insomnia."

they started with simple things — when it started (freshmen year), what are his symptoms (not being able to fall asleep at night and waking up at ungodly hours), had he try anything at all to help him sleep better (take a warm bath before bed to wind himself down, read a book afterwards and puts some gentle, jazz music — all comforting elements to wooyoung's already pleasant apartment). then dr kim started to ask him what changes in the holidays.

"i don't think anything does, actually." wooyoung answered. he was now sitting comfortably on the sofa with his legs crossed together and leaning forward a bit just so he could feel as at home as he should, "my insomnia still sticks around quite often during the holidays since i have to get back to my family. but in the past summer it just — it just seems like it's gone."

dr kim hummed, writing down some things on her notepad, "well, then, what's changed this summer, specifically?"

wooyoung opened his mouth but then, again, like this morning, it was like he couldn't speak. he didn't know if this doctor wanted to hear his entire summer crush on choi san that was already two years old. dr kim must've noticed the hesitation and chuckled, "you do know i'm a therapist, right? everything you tell me will be confidential and only used to help you to be a better you. and i won't tell this to yunho, i promise. if that's what you're worried about at the first place."

wooyoung smiled, "sorta. he's kind of the guy that starts the gossips. anyways, i've gotten closer to this boy during the summer. he's, you know, popular, charming, nice — everything you can ask for in a guy. but i was just his tutor. his grades were pretty bad so i decided to help him out. we came out for our study sessions every two days every week during the summer and it was about one and a half week through that the insomnia just stopped coming to visit me and i actually get a good night's sleep.

"but we got into a fight yesterday. i called him something that i shouldn't have and i still haven't apologised it. plus, it's our senior year and i'm already thinking about what societies i should sign up for and all those stuff. y'know, it's our last year in high school. i wanna make the most out of this." wooyoung explained. he paused to think over his words and he chuckled lightly, "i've just found the reason to my insomnia, didn't i?"

dr kim nodded, "i believe so, wooyoung ssi. it's very obvious that you need to get some stress off yourself and don't worry so much about trying to be good at everything. i'm sure you are a brilliant student as you are an amazing friend, but you need to get some steam off of yourself. another thing is that boy you mentioned. he seemed to help you with getting sleep. when you were with him, wooyoung ssi, do you remember how it felt?"

"free," it was the first word that popped up in wooyoung's mind, and so he just told dr kim. he raised his eyes from his fingers on his lap to her, "like—like i can totally be myself around him. i mean, i can definitely be myself around yunho and all my other friends, but with him, it's, i don't know, it's just different."

dr kim smiled softly as she wrote down something more down on her notepad, "i don't think i need to tell you this, wooyoung ssi. that boy—i think you know you have feelings for him. but i don't think you realise how deep those feelings go to. the feeling obviously washed your stress away and it helped you sleep better. the weight on your shoulders just get lifted off and that's a good sign."

silence took over the two of them as wooyoung let those words sink in. san was apparently his antidote to his insomnia and it's not even in a physical way. how was he supposed to get better now that he and his apparent antidote had fallen out?

"i will be asking for you to come back here once or twice a month to see if you've improved and just in case, if it gets worse, i can issue some sleeping pills for you. but i do hope you know what to do now, wooyoung ssi." dr kim looked up from her computer screen, "you do know what to do, right?"

wooyoung nodded, "apologise to san and hope that he'll forgive me."