dear sannie,
i hope you're not mad at me. in fact, i'm sure you are. and that's fine. i deserve it anyway. but this just had to be said. you, choi san, are the best thing that ever happened to me.
you taught me ways of loving myself and ways to enjoy life to the fullest, breaking the confinements of rules of my life until i couldn't anymore. i need you to know that i left partly because my parents forced me to, but i also figured it's the best for us. we've both learnt so much from each other, hurt so much because of each other, love so much more now because of each other that i fear we might be too powerful for other people.
okay, maybe that was exaggerated.
maybe i'm overthinking this, maybe i'm under thinking this. i don't really know. all i know is that you've taught me so, so much and i'm never going to forget that. i'm never going to forget how much love you gave me, how much time you've dedicated to me so that i could be a better someone, and i love you so much for that. you'll always be someone that i remember, san, whether you like it or not. you meant — and still mean — so much to me that it was starting to scare me. i've never cared nor loved for someone so much other than kyungmin and it was genuinely starting to scare me. however, now that i'm writing this letter and am 15 hours away from leaving to a total different country, i realise that's just one of the barriers you'll have to overcome if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
and i'm sorry i chickened out, sannie. i'm so sorry. i know you, being you, would've probably faced it with nothing and still are able to jump over it and call it a day. i can't, though. i can't. i'm not mature enough, not a good enough version of me yet to do so. it's my fault that i couldn't overcome it, but you need to find someone that could overcome that barrier and become one with you, become the love of your life and forever be yours. i'll never be that person, no matter how much we love each other. and i'm sorry.
i love you now, choi san, and i'll love you forever, too.
with much love,
wooyoung
YOU ARE READING
CHASING YOUTH. wsn ✓
Fanfiction"perhaps we laughed and cried too much, perhaps we were too busy chasing the fallen stars"
