Friends With Benefits - P.JM | 18+

19

You kept texting me.

"I'm outside waiting for you. Come."

You didn't hesitate.

You were quick.

I guess, I could finally say, you needed me.

You wanted me.

You craved me.

You most definitely lusted over me.

Chuwie and Zizi both sit in front of me, on the bench outside. I didn't know how to just leave without actually giving any context or information.

Instead, I say, "Guys-- I have to go somewhere. I'll literally come right back."

Zizi looks at me, her eyes filled with curiosity.

"Where are you going?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Nowhere important."

I know, it was very obvious that I was blatantly lying.

You see-- Jimin, you made me become all panicked and jelly like.

I couldn't speak properly and I couldn't form a proper coherent sentence.

Jimin, a part of me didn't want to go.

Yet, the other part said, this was the only chance I really have.

This was the only way you'd talk to me, hold me, give me any form of actual attention.

It made me realise something.

I love friendship.

I love the friendship side of things. Hence why I was ever so envious of those around you.

I wonder if I ever went back in time.

Jimin, do you think I could've been your friend?

It's a dumb question.

However, maybe-- maybe that way, it would've been more promising, you know?

Zizi eventually says, "Okay, we'll see you."

Her voice seemed quite forced and it seemed as if she was lying.

I send a glare.

"What? We said we'll see you." Zizi repeats, her voice laced with nothing but annoyance.

I sigh, leaving.

Before I can make it past the gates, my instincts tell me to turn back.

I see Zizi running in front, besides her was Chuwie.

I knew Chuwie couldn't just tell Zizi to back off, although she'd try, it would draw suspicion and Zizi would automatically be able to tell something was off.

Zizi, sometimes, I look back and I understand.

I was constantly pushing you away.

It seems dumb, but I was afraid.

I may have never said it, but I was.

You were somebody who was very hateful towards me.

During our secondary school years, you made it seem like you didn't like me and that brought a great fear upon me.

I was always the most disliked one, I was always the one everyone hated for simply looking bigger than the rest.

You may have never said it, but it felt like it.