When I look at you it shouldn't hurt but it does. And I've been told love shouldn't hurt because that's not love, but I've also been told that love should hurt because it means the love is real. And to an extent, I believe both are true.
But it doesn't feel right when I look at your face and want to claw myself out of my own skin. It's like a pet bird ripping out its feathers because it's mind can't comprehend the thought of being caged. It's not normal that I want to contract into myself like a dying star. When I see you, I only see her; and I don't want to see her. When I look at her, I see everything I'm not. And that just reminds me I'll never be what you want.
And I have to be okay with that. I have to be okay with you loving her. Because my life isn't an unfinished story. And I'm not an author. I can't write myself a happy ending. I can't make myself be with you. The only thing I can make sure of, is that you're happy. And if you're happy with her, I can learn to live with it.
Because you are my happiness. You are my everything. I know I shouldn't love you this way; this way when you CANT love me back. It's like drinking poison and praying to live. But I can't help it. I can't stop loving you and I can't make myself want to stop. And I know that one day this love will kill me like the ocean current no one saw coming coming. Maybe my last breath of oxygen will be used in vain, screaming your name. And I'll drown in a storm of a sea.
And even after knowing all this, I can't help but to love you.
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Poems
Poetry"I know that sometimes for people, I feel like too much; But let me kiss away the phantom pain that the scars remind you of, Let me kiss the burns on your hands, From when you touched the burning fire within my soul. Let me show you that yes, I am...
