I stopped letting myself be her.
I stopped letting myself be
That
Little
Girl.
I knew it was time
Time for me to step up
When people stopped looking
D
O
W
N
On me
And started looking
At
Me.
And Peter Pan stopped visiting my dreams
Because I reached that age where
I was too old for Neverland.
I learned to let go of the things that caused me pain
Because holding grudges
Felt draining and
Were called immature.
And I expected things to happen
As fast
As the change
I felt inside me.
But somethings take time.
Some things need time.
Like the pain
That rotted my bones
That tore at my tendons
And overally
Broke
Me
Apart.
That kind of pain leaving took time.
Oh, God, it took time.
Years of screaming
Over the noise of my mind
Wishing for a second of silence.
Months of sleepless nights
As tears drowned my eyes
And suffocated my lungs.
Weeks of planning
Any and every way
To end the seemingly never-ending-war of
Me against my demons
As they dressed themselves
In white
And played innocent
Like some sort of sick
Masquerade
To trick what little patience
I had left.
Days of wishing to be
Able to change something;
I shouldn't have felt the need to
Change something not broken.
Hours of wasting a life away
Wishing for different
Looking for a sign that was
Right in front of me.
One day,
Today,
I decided I was enough.
I have always been enough.
I didn't want her to leave
But I didn't tell her this
For if she knew
She'd never leave
Because she was the child in me.
So,
I packed her bags
I kissed her goodbye
I took care of her
Every time
Up until this tomorrow
Even today, I took care of her
And her travels
I
Made sure she had enough to eat
Made sure she had clothes on her back
I loved her as she left,
Caring only one suitcase.
She fit all my memories up until this time,
In one black suitcases.
I watched her,
Taking every old bit of me
With her
Swearing I'd never let her back in again
Not into my life
Not in this lifetime
I'd never be her again.
It was bitter sweet
Like sending your baby off to college.
Knowing it was for the better
But feeling like this was the worst.
And looking back on it
Years later
With happy tears
Knowing it was the right thing to do.
Accepting the fact
That this was my way of
Growing up.
YOU ARE READING
Poems
Poetry"I know that sometimes for people, I feel like too much; But let me kiss away the phantom pain that the scars remind you of, Let me kiss the burns on your hands, From when you touched the burning fire within my soul. Let me show you that yes, I am...
