Poems

Close As Strangers

This is a poem that goes along with the lyrics of Close As Strangers by 5sos.

"Oh, everyday we feel a little bit further away,"
Ever since you moved away, our conversations have disappeared into nothing. It's so hard to reach out for you when you're not here. I need to hold you but there is nothing to grasp. I should've told you how I felt when I had the chance. I feel like the spaces between us changed you. I miss the old you. You're far from the man you used to be.

"And I don't know what to say."
I think it's about time I move on but I don't know if I can admit it yet. It is as if it was just yesterday when you left my life, but in reality it's been over five months. Time is a hard concept to grasp when my wounds are still fresh and delicate. And I don't know how to make you understand this. And I think I can't say this, to you, because I can't risk losing my whole world. But the risk shouldn't bother me because I already have lost you on multiple occasions. Many people have walked in and out of my life, and even though, in my heart, I know your gone too. Therefore there is no one to say these absence of words too.

"Are we wasting time, talking on a broken line"
I can't help but to feel like I'm talking to a wall. All of our phone conversations are started by me and all end by you for no reason. In all honesty, we are wasting our time. What's the point of our conversations if only one of us is able to put in the effort we both should? I never thought I could 'waste' anything with someone I loved so.

"Telling you I haven't seen your face in ages"
I only ever see you face in pictures. Do you remember that's how we first met? The first time I 'saw' you was in an image. I thought you had brown eyes but turns out yours were blue. And lucky for you I have a soft spot for eyes that are lighter than mine. But I guess I thought your eyes were the wrong color because that's what images do, they distort. Now I miss your stupid face that comes with that smile that reaches to your eyes. I miss your voice and your presence and your sweet compliments that really meant nothing. Images are nothing compared to really being with you.

"I won't give up even though it hurts so much"
Those are the words I wanted so badly for you to say but never did. Remember how you told me you loved me but I knew it was too soon to be real? And only a couple days later you were dating a new girl and had completely forgotten me? After you broke up, we didn't talk for months and when we reunited again, we started all over. (I was still there; I didn't give up, even when you had forgotten me.) You had to relearn me because you never did remember in the first place but the things that made up you never left my mind. Each repeated question stung a little bit more than the one before. I never wanted you to hurt, and you didn't but because of this you never did the the thing I wanted most: you didn't stay.

"Every night I'm losing you in a thousand faces"
I look for you everywhere, even though I know I'll never see you again. But this won't stop my eyes for searching for a pair just like yours. For my heart listening for a similar rhythm. For my hands to shake in eagerness at the thought of holding you again. And sometimes I'll see someone who looks like you but they aren't you. Nobody is you. And the worst part about losing you is I think I'm losing a bit of me too.

"I feel we are as close as strangers"
Maybe the hurt after heartache never gets better. Maybe we just learn to live with the ache or experience something far worse and forget about the first pain. Like how my first heart break was nothing compared to my second and my second was nothing compared to my third and so on. I think that is because for some people: the love we lose, is the love we were supposed to have. Things don't always work out the way they are planned too.
And after all this, I've never been so close to someone I'm so far from. You act like you don't recognize me, but I'm not the one who's changed. You are the stranger to me. And in the end we make better strangers than anything else.