It's Time, Cosa Nostra (STEREONA CLAN 1)

Chapter 18

Habang nakababad ang katawan ko sa tubig at nakapalumbaba sa gilid ng swimming pool, I stared at the moon and the thousand stars at the sky, they’re shining too bright like there’s no tomorrow.

How can they be that bright? How can they shine bright? What if they’ll be a human also, will they shine bright even though they’re broken inside? Will they shine bright after all the pain? I closed my eyes when the memories of Azriel and I under the moon light of thousand stars flashed back.

Azriel, akala ko ba sa akin ka lang uuwi at mauuwi?

I once again, open my eyes. I stretched my arms, pointing at the stars above the sky, can you all teach me how to shine once again? I sighed, I wanted to be like the stars in the sky, I wanted to shine bright also despite all the brokenness and pain I’m feeling inside.

“Ciana, may fireworks display daw mamaya.” Napatingin ako kay Philip,

“Veramente?” (Really?)

Philip raised his brow.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Really? What time?” Sasagutin na sana ako ng bigla kaming napatingin sa sumigaw and it’s Nicolette.

“Hayan na!”

Dali-dali akong umahon sa tubig at pumunta na roon sa tabi ng dagat dahil mas kita raw iyon doon. The fireworks display started,

“Wow.” I’m amazed and speechless, it’s very beautiful and colorful.

Napatingin ako sa gilid ko, hindi ko napansing naroon pala si Azriel, nagtataka ko siyang tinignan dahil nakakunot ang noo nito.

“Are you okay?” I asked him,

Napatingin ito sa akin, “Yeah.”

I cleared my throat and smiled at him, tumingin akong muli sa fireworks. Kung magiging kagaya lang ng fireworks na makulay at maganda ang buhay ko, I won’t ask for more but I guess it’s all part of living in this world.

You’ll experience struggles, challenges, circumstances. You’ll also experience the cruelty of this world, hindi mo naman siguro mapipigilan na mapagdaanan lahat ng ‘yun eh dahil siguro that’s part of God’s plan.

“Ciana.”

I didn’t expect that Azriel will gonna call me like that, “Hmm?”

“Are you really my girlfriend?”

I sighed, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry if I’m hurting you right now. Ganito pala kahirap na wala kang maalala, ang naaalala mo lang ay ‘yung dati pa.”

“It’s fine, Azriel. Let your brain rest.”

“I don’t think it will, it kept om flashing unfamiliar scenes.”

“What do you mean?”

“When the fireworks display started, one scene suddenly flashed, I asked a woman if I can court her under the moonlight of thousand stars.”

Napahawak ako sa bibig niya, unti-unti ng bumabalik ang ala-ala niya and that’s a good sign para huwag sumuko para sa pagmamahal ko sa kaniya.

“Is it you?”

I nodded, “Yes... Azriel?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“But I love someone else and it's your sister.”

I stared at him with a teared-eye and a small smile flashed in my lips, “I wish…I wish I can turn back the time when we’re so in love with each other because right now, ako na lang ang nagmamahal sa ating dalawa, Azriel. I love you and you love someone else, but I don’t care I’m in love with you and I don’t know how to stop this feeling. Sa nagdaang buwan na nasa Italy ako, sa ating dalawa ako na lang pala ang nakahawak sa relasyon natin, Azriel, habang ikaw bumitaw na at may mahal ng iba. I don’t ask you to love me back but please can we recreate our memories? Bumawi ka naman sa ilang buwan na wala ka man lang paramdam habang ako parang baliw na naghihintay sa’yo, naghihintay sa tawag at mensahe mo pero walang dumating ni-isa man lang, Azriel. Para akong baliw na umaasa lang pala sa wala, there are many times na I’m already doubting you na baka nakahanap ka ng mas maganda sa akin, nakahanap ka na ng kapalit ko, na hindi mo na ako mahal. Pero Azriel, minahal mo nga ba talaga ako? Akala ko ba sa akin ka lang uuwi at mauuwi?” My tears kept on falling.