Only On Paper / JJK

Chapter 25

Jungkook doesn't know what to do. Now, that Y/n and Taehyung have come out of the bathroom, everyone is looking at him expectantly. They all want to know what's going on, Y/n more than the others, but he's not allowed to say it in front of her. It was a part of the deal he made

Keep it to himself, and he can stay. At least long enough to make things right, but it seems like he's just made everything worse.

How's he supposed to tell his friends and the woman he loves that he can't tell them anything? It'll just make them angry.

The only one not glaring at him is Namjoon. He should be though after all that happened, but he just stares at Jungkook solemnly.

Does he not remember? Or worse, does he feel bad for him?

Jungkook knows he should be furious with his friend for taking his girl from him, but he's the one who had let her slip through his fingers, and over something so stupid too.

He can't blame Y/n or Namjoon. It was his fault. He knows that now.

That's why he's here. This is his second chance to get them all back together, and then he can leave in peace knowing that they would be better off for it.

They're all miserable, mostly because he's here, but before, they all used to be so happy. He had taken all that away the moment he hurt Y/n and left them to fix the mess he left behind.

The only downside from being brought to life was that none of them would remember him.

The elderly woman, a reaper he thinks, said they would eventually, but it was a cost to bringing him back. It was a lot easier than expected because Y/n dreamt about him, her unconscious still grieving him by reliving the moments where she felt the most connected to him. Granted, a lot of it was in a literal sense, and he can remember every one of those memories clearly.

But at the same it kind of hurt. Are those really the only times she's ever felt closest to him? When they were making love?

It solidifies the horror of it all. He had been a horrible friend and boyfriend.

Jungkook is going to make it all up to them though before the reaper comes back to sow his soul into the afterlife. He doesn't know when that will be, but sometimes it feels like she'll come and get him at any moment.

So, Jungkook says the first words he should've said before he died.

"I'm sorry."

Yoongi scoffs harshly. "Are you really? Do you realize the severity of what you did? You could've gotten us all killed."

Jungkook isn't surprised by Yoongi's response to his apology.

"Killed?" Y/n's taken aback by what her brother said. "What do you mean killed?"

"He-"

Jungkook is quick to cut Yoongi off. "Stop. She has to remember on her own."

"Why?" Taehyung joins in with ferocity.

"Because if you tell her she won't remember it correctly. She'll remember whatever version you tell her, but she needs to recall it from her own memories."

Yoongi visibly clenches his teeth. "I'd prefer it if she saw it my way."

"Yoongi, let him explain. This is the most any of us have ever gotten out of him." Namjoon butts in and motions for Jungkook to continue.

So he does remember. That look from before really was one of pity. He actually does feel sorry for him.

But Jungkook doesn't have the time to spare to think about it.

"Look, I understand the hostility. I do," he pauses to sigh, "I did some pretty fucked up shit."

Jungkook looks down at his hands and fumbles with his fingers nervously. "I'm here to resolve that, but I can't if Y/n doesn't remember everything on her own."

"What happens when she does?" Namjoon asks what they're all wondering. "What happens to you?"

"It'll all go back to the way it was, but without all the chaos I caused. And me?" Jungkook bites down on his lips. He knows what they'll think when he says it. They'll say good riddance.

"I'll go where I was supposed to before all this."

"Good," Yoongi chides. "You were better off dead anyway. Hope you rot in hell."

He shoves past Jungkook and drags Y/n along with him to her room. He slams the door shut. He does it so hard, it shakes the rest of the apartment.

Jungkook's body feels all the more heavy. His head weighs a ton, his shoulders slump, and his heart carries so much guilt.

He may never earn their forgiveness, but he'll do everything he can, risk the life that's not even his anymore, so they can be happy. He should've never let things get this far in the first place.

He'll do what he has to. To save them.

"Kook, we need to talk." Jungkook is pulled out of his thoughts by Namjoon's question. "Y/n's gone, so I think it's safe to discuss everything. I'll tell Yoongi everything later, but right now, we need answers."

"Okay," Jungkook agrees. "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know why you would do that to Y/n? Did you really do it for the money?" Taehyung still sounds just as upset, but unlike Yoongi, he's willing to have a somewhat civil conversation.

"No, I didn't."

"They why the fuck did you go around selling those kind of photos of her when they were specifically meant for you and only you?"

"I don't know. I-"

Taehyung laughs at him, like he doesn't believe him. "Yes, you do. You know exactly why."

Every word feels like a punch, and every one riles Jungkook. So much that he starts yelling even though he shouldn't because Y/n is just a few yards away behind a closed door where she can hear him if he gets loud enough.

But he spews it all and hopes she doesn't listen.

"I did it, because I could, Tae! She was mine. I owned her."

As soon as he says it, it feels wrong. He knows it's wrong. The kind of person he was back then was toxic and dangerous, and in turn, it had lured other people just like him, wanting to stake a claim on his girlfriend.

She was beautiful, still is, and anyone would be lucky to love her. At first, it had been jokes, at least Jungkook thought it was, but that one random guy he met in a bar wasn't.

He had been so serious and obsessive that he threatened Jungkook's life and everyone else he cared about when he denied the man's sick request. It spiraled out of control, and all because he thought he had power when he didn't have any.

He was just some dumb, fresh-out-of-college pervert who was forunate enough to have Y/n love him, and he threw it all away because of his damn ego.

"You make me sick." Taehyung's deep voice drips with disgust as he walks away and into Y/n's room.

Namjoon gives Jungkook a rueful look, and then he's gone too.

a/n: so... what do we think about jungkook now? did of any of you think he was capable of doing something like that to y/n? i know it's a lot to take in, but now you're kind of up to speed, and you'll get to read more from jungkook's perspective in later chapters. warning, things will get dark.