OREGON BROTHERS 1: Exil Johhans - LOSE MY LOVE

KABANATA 12

THEY SAID 'Realization will hit you so hard' that's what happened to me two months ago. And I am still in a state of freaking out because of my fucking perception.

I realized that my life is already planned and dictated by my parents. Hindi man lang nila ako binigyan ng pagkakataon na pumili ng taong gusto kong makasama pang habang-buhay. Basta nalang silang nagdesisyon ng walang pasintabi sa mararamdaman ko. I want to marry a man who knows that I chose him to be the other part of me. Not like this. Unfair.

For the last two months I discerned that my situation is for a lifetime game that there is no escapade even if I try my hardest to abscond. I will be forever chained with the man I dont love. I will never love. Really, Raia? You'll never?

"Where's the bride!?" Hysterical na tanong ng head of make-up artist ko ngayon.

Me on the other hand, rolled my eyes and submerge my body in the bathtub. My wedding will happen after three hours, I have that time to prepare even though I don't want to look decent later.

"Ma'am, are you done?" Malumanay na tanong ng isa pang boses matapos kumatok sa pinto ng banyong kinaroroonan ko.

"Twenty more minutes." Maikling sagot ko.

"Hay jusko! Lumabas ka na diyan Raia kung ayaw mong pasukin kita at hilahin palabas diyan." Dama ko ang pang-gigigil ni Cholo habang binibitawan ang mga salitang iyon.

"A minute!" Hirit ko naman, bakit ako matatakot sa banta nito? I'm the boss here.

"Raia you are my favorite costumer but you taking too long in bathing is very frustrating. We have plenty things to glamour you!" Mas lumakas na ang boses ni Cholo, na ibig sabihin ay nasa tapat na siya ng pintuan ng banyo.

Napairap nalang tuloy ako at umalis sa bathtub, mabilis ko nang hinugot ang roba ko at sinuot bago binalot ng malinis na tuwalya ang basang-basa kong buhok. Nang mabalot ko na ang aking katawan ay saka na ako lumabas. Sinamaan ko muna ng tingin si Cholo bago lumakad palampas sa kanya at nagtungo sa glamour chair sa tapat ng napakalaking vanity mirror.

We were in the Birtham hotel. Vvip room ang ibinigay sa akin at sa aking team para gamitin namin. Samantalang si Johhans naman nasa Vip room lang ng hotel nila, he's five floor lower than my place. Our parents are also in a Vvip rooms. While our brothers were together with him.

Ako lang ang walang kasama dahil ang maid of honor kong si Cyllie ay sa venue na dederetso, which is sa occasion hall ng Birtham hotel. Merong five occasion hall ang B.H and we take their biggest hall. As in, isang buong floor na vacant lang siya. May mga nag-gagandahang pillars na hango sa renaissance architecture.

The last time I saw the wedding venue was 3 days ago. Pinagpahinga kase ako ni Mommy at sinabing siya na ang bahala. Hindi pa tapos ang design non kaya wala akong ideya sa kinalabasan ng venue.

"We will now do your hair and make-up." Agaw ni VCholo sa atensyon ko. Binalingan ko lang siya bago tanguan at pinikit ang mga mata.

Actually, my realization doesn't end right just in the thoughts of being chained to this unwanted marriage. Honestly, there's something I am now sure of. When I first felt that I was astounded.

The girl named Chamilos Raia who deeply have a crush with her bestfriend is not totally gone in my system. When I heard what he whispered to me that night it sent chaos to my heart. Then my nanny Thesa added the waking desire I have for him.

Before stepping out to my hotel room, I am now sure of what's my feelings for Johhans. I am now confident that I will marry the man who have a special place in my heart.

But, I am still against this wedding because it started in a wrong way, and the emotions I saw in Johhans eye that confrontation night is a big pinch for me. I wanted to fix my wrong decision and my wrong doings. If I have known that I will feel this sana noong una palang ay nagpakatino na ako.