OREGON BROTHERS 1: Exil Johhans - LOSE MY LOVE

KABANATA 22

ANG MGA lumipas na araw ay naging mabilis at maayos. Pero sa likod ng prim at proper na kilos ng asawa ko alam kong may gumugulo sa isipan niya. She never forget her role as a mother and a wife but I can feel that there is something's messing with her mind. She always in a deep thoughts, always in a trance.

I can't confront her because I am scared that she's thinking about her ex, Drake. I don't think I can handle to know the idea of her thinking of her ex.

We've been married for years now and here I am sulking and being childish over this idea.

Sometimes I can see through her eyes that she wanted to talk about something but she's stopping herself. Lalo lang tuloy lumakas ang pangamba kong si Drake nga talaga ang gumugulo sa kanya. I fucking hate the man. Kasama ko nga ang asawa ko, inaalagaan niya ako at anak namin, inaasikaso, nilalambing pero ang isipan naman nito ay okupado sa kung sino at alam ko namang si Drake iyon.

Simula ng magkita sila ni Raia ganito na ang kinikilos niya. She would smile but her eyes wouldn't and I hate the fact that it is all because of that son of a bitch Drake! Gusto kong mag-amok, I want to tell Raia about my feeling but I don't know how to. Ayaw ko namang maramdaman niyang may pagdududa ako sa kanya, dahil wala naman pero may takot akong nararamdaman, ayun ang tamang salita. I am scared that she'll wake up and realize that she really love her ex.

"Fuck, aren't Raia's assurance enough to feel this?" I asked whispering in myself.

I am currently in my office, waiting for mr. Shinoda to meet me here. For the first time in our entire meeting ngayon lang siya pumayag na sa opisina ko nalang mag-uusap. He is the who insisted so pinaunlakan ko nalang dahil mas convenient naman sa akin ito dahil hindi ko na kailangang bumyahe pa.

Naalala ko pa kaninang umaga, while Raia's cooking our breakfast. I hug her from behind pero hindi man lang siya umimik. She's really in a deep trance and I hate it. I want her attention just for me and for our kid.

I even asked her what's the problem but she just blink and shake her head to tell me that there is no problem but I knew better than that head shake. She has a problem and why the fuck she can't tell me about it? I wanted to know! Fuck, kapag hindi ko pa nalaman baka mabaliw ako at masapak nalang ng wala sa oras ang punyeta niyang ex boyfriend na ang lakas ng loob pakiharapan ang mag-ina ko pero ang sariling pamilya ay tinatakwil. Kung hindi ba naman siraulo at gago.

Sinong matinong tatay ang pipiliin ang babaeng hindi na sa kanya kesa sa sarili niyang pamilya? For pete sake, he impregnate another woman but in the end he'll just going to abandoned her? With the fact that their kid is in a turmoil. What an asshole. Subukan niyang lumapit ulet sa mag-ina ko at makikita niya ang hinahanap niyang gago siya.

"Sir..." Ion's voice invade my office.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Shinoda is here." He informed me. Tumango naman ako at inayos ang aking kwelyo.

"Let him in Ion." Seryosong utos ko bago naglakad patungo sa mini meeting table ko.

Sakto naman ng paglapit ko ay ang muling pagbukas ng aking puntuan at bumungad sa akin ang intimidating at seryosong pagmumukha ni Mr. Shinoda. Dahil sa matandang ito na amo ni Drake naglakas ng loob ang isa na bumalik dito sa pilipinas. Bwiset.

"Good afternoon Mr. Shinoda, it is a great pleasure to seal the deal today with you." I stated as I offer him the seat. Napangiti naman ang matanda at mabilis na naupo sa katapat kong upuan.

"Do you want coffee or tea?" I asked.

"It's a tea Mr. Oregon." He mumble.

Bumaling naman ako kay Ion na mabilis na tumango sa akin bago lumabas sa aking opisina. Saglit na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin ng aking kaharap bago ko binasag ang nakabibinging katahimikan.