Cool

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Hanyu laid back on the sofa, arms wrapped protectively around his a throw pillow. He wasn't used to sleeping without Dela. Zihao was opposite of him, one arm tucked behind his head while the other draped over his abdomen.

ZeYu and Shuyang lay awake as well, partly because sleeping on the carpet was horrible, but also because of the day's events. If Xinlong had been in the living room with the rest of them, he too would have shared his emotions on the subject, instead he held tight to his wife for comfort.

Shuyang sighed loudly, knowing full well he wasn't disrupting anyone's slumber. The youngest turned over on his side, the view of Zeyu's back making his heart beat in his throat. He missed MingRui. He missed seeing the older asleep next to him after a long night at work or after a wild party. His apartment felt empty without him. The thoughts made Shuyang's stomach churn. Without much sense, he reached out and traced the prominent shoulder blade hiding under Zeyu's old T-shirt. If the older had noticed at all, he didn't let on.

If it had been MingRui he would've known to scoot a little closer because the younger was longing for something, but it was ZeYu, and he had no clue about Shuyang's nonverbal cues. He missed holding the older when he was cold, or upset. Their relationship had finally developed near the end of the older's life. They had been best friends since even before school, and had moved in together after graduation. It wasn't until about 6 months before now did they confess the truth of how they felt.

Shuyang remembered how Rui had dragged him to some college town for a party, as buzzed as could be. Rui loved to party. And party hard. To get drunk as fast as he possibly could and then feel light and airy for the rest of the night.

"Open your mouth." Rui mumbled, cheeks flushed, neck following suit. Shuyang had been just as tipsy so he drunkenly obliged, parting his lips and waiting for something to happen.
The older smiled in pure delight, drowning yet another shot of whatever was on the table and holding the burning liquid in his mouth. Shuyang was confused but didn't protest when Rui gripped his chin, pulling his lips closer to his own and letting the bitter taste flow from his mouth into the younger's. Shuyang's face soured for a second, hating the initial flavor, but soon fell in love with the taste of Rui just after. "You're pretty." GouGou simpered, kissing the boy again, with less alcohol. Shuyang gripped tight to the older's side, thumb feeling at the concave bellybutton and traveling downward, meeting the leather of Rui's belt. The older handled the man's wrist, keeping it in place, and keeping it from going any further. It wasn't a big party, maybe 15 people all drunk off their asses and completely absent. Not a single eye was on the two as the pair fell deeper into their own temptations and drunken nonsense.

He would never forget it. Not in a million years. His finger stayed firm on Zeyu's shoulder blade as the rest of him went limp into the make shift bed on the floor. He missed Rui.

The room shifted as the older men heard a sniffle and a whimper. "Who the fuck is crying?" Zihao grumbled. "Shuyang." ZeYu reported, breathing out heavily with his voice.
"What's wrong buddy?" Hanyu questioned worriedly.

Shuyang wiped his nose with the tip of the blanket and shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You're obviously not." Zihao huffed, getting up from his sleepless position. The older lowered himself to the ground and laid next to the tearful friend. Hanyu followed, cramming himself between ZeYu and the wall. The men were in a big brother sandwich, only missing one of their crowd.

"You guys didn't have to come down here." Shuyang sniffed, but moved closer to Zihao. "Why not? We couldn't sleep anyways." Hanyu responded, throwing an arm over Zeyu's chest.
"What's wrong?" Hanyu questioned, readjusting himself as he was squished against the wall trim.

"Is it GouGou?" ZeYu turned to his body to face Shuyang and Zihao, eyes drooping in undeniable exhaustion, yet he could barely sleep. Shuyang nodded gently, hoping he wouldn't have to admit to the last 6 months of his life.
"You two were really close, I know it must be really hard for you." Hanyu said, hand finding Shuyang's shoulder. "You lived together right?" ZeYu asked. Shuyang nodded again. "Yeah."

"Damn, I'm sorry Yangyang." Zihao pitched in, huddling even closer to the younger. The pressure was building up inside of the youngest man. His eyes darted back and forth under their lids as he thought over the situation with MingRui. He didn't want any of them to know but the secrecy was killing him. "Can I confess something? About GouGou and I." He spat out, feeling all of those terrible nerves tingle in his stomach.

"Of course." Hanyu answered immediately, sensing the boy was tense.

Shuyang breathed in sharply, ready to fess up to his actions. It wasn't like anyone would have hated them anyway, but he was scared of letting go of that bold of a statement.

The three boys gathered in closer. They hadn't been like this is years.

"We-" he began, nerves clouding his brain. "We were sort of-"

"Yeah?" ZeYu nudged the younger, almost excited.
Shuyang bit his lip and twiddled with the thic fabric of the blanket covering him.
"We were kind of a couple." He finally confessed, a million and one pounds being lifted from his chest.

Shuyang was met with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"Like a couple of buddies? Or a couple of romantically involved buddies?" ZeYu spouted. Shuyang pushed the older a bit. "Romantically involved buddies." He mocked, but soon agreed. The room was quiet for a minute, no one really knowing what I say.

"Cool." ZeYu smiled weakly. Shuyang couldn't help but form a confused smile.

"Yeah, cool." Hanyu agreed. Zihao nodded.

"Cool." Shuyang whispered to himself.

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