This is Not My Obituary

Meditating Is Hard When Someone Just Can't Shut Up!

"This isn't helping." Xinlong grumbled, eyes shut tight as he sat cross legged on the dewy grass. ZeYu stayed silent, in the exact same position as the older.

"You have to let it help. You can't just sit there and doubt or else nothing is going to happen." ZeYu explained, trying to tune out everything else except for the irritating vibration coming from the world below him.

"This is some new age shit?" Xinlong asked, opening his eyes and stretching out.

"Not exactly. It's not religious in any way. I'm just trying to concentrate." ZeYu hummed, letting his body relax. "And you need to concentrate out here? Couldn't you harness the energy of the universe somewhere a little less foreboding?"

Xinlong had been complaining ever since they came to this spot. He never could stop himself from forcing his feelings onto the others. Luckily he knew this of himself and never blamed the others for knocking him down to size when he got too out of hand.

"Shut up!" ZeYu gnashed, eyes flying open and teeth bearing.

"Sorry." Xinlong cowered, scooting a little further away from the younger and wiggling aprons until he found a comfortable position.

The older man laid on his back, eyes facing the canopy of tall trees as the sunlight filtered through them and cast lighted patterns on the grass. It all felt so familiar.

"Have we been here before?" He asked quietly after a minute or two of letting ZeYu meditate peacefully. "Duh." ZeYu scoffed, trying to regain his empty minded state. Xinlong and the grounds were not helping. The grounds were whispering unsavory nothings in Zeyu's ear and he had about enough.

Xinlong's gaze was locked on the younger, eyes heating up from the inside. Xinlong was madly in love with his wife and had no intention last if messing up their relationship in anyway, but ZeYu had always been a grade A choice. These days Xinlong didn't find him so much desirable as he did a distant memory of affection.

He could take one look at ZeYu and an entire summer of high school heat flashed through his mind.

Xinlong hummed softly, looking around once more.

"Did we...you know?" He asked, his words cutting through the silence. No wonder the spot had seemed so familiar!

Zeyu's eyes opened as his cheeks began to turn a deep shade of crimson.

"Ye-yes we did. And we should not talk about that.... Ever." ZeYu stuttered, picking anxiously at the hem of his shirt.

Xinlong smirked. "Why not? We were just kids then. That kind of stuff happens all the time."

"Well- yeah I guess." He sputtered.

"It was just something we wanted to try." Xinlong laughed.

ZeYu sat in a quiet stew. Sure they were just kids. Sure it was just something they wanted to try, but that was Zeyu's first kiss, first date, first everything!

He remembered how much of a rush it was to be held tightly by that teenage boy in this spot and how heartbroken he was when him and Kara had started dating senior year.

Xinlong had dragged him out to this spot one night after a football game. He laid him down on the dew-covered grass, lips grazing his neck and shoulders as his cold finger tips hiked up his shirt and felt Zeyu's heated skin beneath them. The older was already soaked in sweat with a film of field dirt and grass stains covering his elbows and knees.

Arms, legs, hands feet, with the way they were doing it you couldn't tell which was which.
Bodies meshed and breath combined between the two of them; it was such a thrill for ZeYu. No one could find them in their own little corner of that damned town. Right here ZeYu could be free, at that time not being bothered by the voice for some reason. It would get at him anywhere else, but not here with Xinlong, tangled up in nothing but skin and whatever blades of grass had wiggled their way between them.

Xinlong held Zeyu's face as if he were glass in his hands and kissed the panting boy's lips over and over ever so gently as the both of them calmed down. ZeYu felt like porcelain when Xinlong held him, pressing lingering lips to to his own, tongue peaking out to play with Zeyu's every once and a while.

"Mmm, so pretty." The older hummed, thumb caressing Zeyu's cheek and leaving an affectionate lick in the thumb's stead.

ZeYu blushed at the words, though he was completely red already. "Pretty." ZeYu breathed out, his fingers running up Xinlong's back and settling in his hair, twisting a few of the strands together.

"Wasn't that fun?" The Grounds whispered in his ear, a cold tingle running up his spine.
"Mhm." He hummed.

"What?" Xinlong asked, pulling ZeYu out of his head.
"Oh, uh, nothing." He lied, closing his eyes again and trying to concentrate.

"ZeYu," Xinlong said again, not at all surprising the younger.

"Hm?"

"I don't regret you being my first." He confessed, small smile on his face.

ZeYu sniffed once, wanting to cry and scream the same thing; still wanting the man to grab him again and relive their first time. But, he knew Xinlong couldn't, and wouldn't do it.

"Me neither." He stated.

"Back Cavern." ZeYu said aloud, the words popping into his head.

"What about it?"

"We should go there."

"Nothing was there the last time."

"Well something is there now. Let's go." ZeYu spat, getting up from the ground and dusting off his pants.