This is Not My Obituary

Go Easy On Me

TW: it gets kinda sexy (like usual) but as you know I never write that shit out 🖤 okay enjoy 😉

The day wouldn't be any easier on Shuyang. He had cried his heart out once again the night before, only this time he was sandwiched between his best friends. Xinlong had joined the dog-pile sometime in early morning, having felt as if something was off just a room over.

Shuyang felt like he had to be the strong one in the situation. He wanted to be a tight-lipped rock, and let everyone deal with the emotions he had been burying deep inside. But, this was his battle as well, and him especially  should be in a dampered state.

"They didn't have to sleep here with me." Shuyang whispered to ZeYu, who was mashed up close to Xinlong who had wriggled his way between him and Hanyu.
"I wish they hadn't." ZeYu grumbled, his face pinned to the pillow by Xinlong's bicep.
"At least they care." Shuyang smiled, sniffing a bit. He felt all swollen from his breakdown, eyes puffy and lips filled with circulating blood.

"They miss GouGou too, you know. We all do." ZeYu huffed. Shuyang just nodded, feeling himself burrow further into Zihao's protective embrace. Tears dripped silently, wetting the pillow case and the older boy's arm. "Are you okay?" ZeYu asked, though he knew very well he was not. "No, no I'm not. I want to hate someone, or something, but I can't because it's no one's fault." He confessed, voice shaky and ill-confident.
"I can't be happy without him and I-" he cut himself off, not wanting to have a repeat of the night before. He had never been one to get all sappy, but this was different.
"Im sorry Shuyang." ZeYu reached and gently caressed the younger's shaggy mane.

"It just doesn't feel real." ZeYu said.
"Like he's not actually gone."

"We've all known each other for so long." Zihao spoke up, holding tighter to the younger.
"Birth for most of us. Xinlong moved here later, but still. It's been a long time."

They hummed in agreement.

Zihao could remember his mother getting on him about not playing with Zeyu, GouGou and Shuyang when they were all in elementary school. She had to remind him on several occasions that they were neighbors and they needed friends too. He would pout, but whisper a "yes momma," before waking out the front door and doing his best to ignore them anyways. Xinlong would come to play but would bring Zeyu with him, Zihao making certain allowances for those occasions. Hanyu would bring MingRui and Shuyang would make his way to them eventually.

Zihao smirked thinking about the little 5-year-old with wide eyes and a frumpy pair of drawstring pants. Shuyang had probably followed them 100 miles before they actually included him in their little adventures around the neighborhood.

Hanyu would lead the smaller boys towards the back of Old Mr. Yi's land and they could play for hours until the sun began to set.

"I'm the king!" Hanyu shouted from the top of the limestone formations. "Nuh-Uh! I am!" Xinlong heckled, climbing up on the stones and standing on wobbly knees. The boys giggled cutely, hiding their smiled behind clasped hands. The trees whistled in the wind and each and every leaf said hello. The spot had been absolutely beautiful and each boy yearned for it still. Even after years apart, they wanted to go back.

Zihao missed it.

"Hanyu!" Dela's sweet voice floated over the small cuddle they had, waking the doting husband.
"What?" He jerked awake, immediately struck with pain in his back from the uncomfortable sleeping position. Xinlong rolled off of the older and commuted to Zeyu as a plushie.

"C'mon baby let's make breakfast." She held out her hand for the man, him thankfully taking it, pressing a sleepy kiss to the wedding ring around her dainty fingers.