This is Not My Obituary

Power Bottom

ZeYu wandered wherever his feet took him. He had stepped out for a quick breath of air this morning and couldn't find it in himself to go back to the house just yet.

He kicked at the dirt and looked out over the wooded path he had found at the edge of town. He had been on this trail before when he was younger as it connected four or so towns to each other.

Him and Rui had walked down the same trail a few times when the younger couldn't take regular life anymore. ZeYu remembered nudging GouGou's side when he wasn't feeling talkative, just to let him know he was there for him.

ZeYu could look back and smile knowing he had been there for Rui when he was going through it. Rui couldn't have helped his situation back then, financially anyway, he was just a kid. It wasn't fair how the kids would tease him or even straight up assault him for not being able to afford the thing others had. On one occasion he could recall Hanyu, Zihao and Xinlong being in high school and getting suspended for beating a few middle school kids rather harshly for jumping Rui in the bathroom and holding his head under the sink. "Take a shower you fucking welfy."

He remembered after that, twice a week, Rui would climb through his window and take a shower in ZeYu's bathroom. In return, ZeYu slept over there when he was tired of life at his house between his younger siblings and parents'  active sex life.

They had grown up so close and somehow they let themselves fall apart. It was all because of that one time by the back cavern. It tore them apart in a way. They were still close and hung out, but none of them besides Shuyang wanted to stay. They all ran away and got married so ZeYu ran off himself. He didn't want to live in the same town, providence, country, hell, even the same continent where He Xinlong had broken his heart. He didn't want to be within a thousand miles of him and his wife. ZeYu felt bad about his feelings because he had known Kara since he was a junior, but he wanted to be in her place. At least he did before he left for college.

ZeYu stopped in his trail as he came across A certain thought. "Does Kara know?" He said aloud. Did Xinlong tell her. Maybe not about being with ZeYu, but that he had been a top at some point, and on rare occasions, an extreme power bottom.

ZeYu shivered as he thought it over. He really had been in love with Xinlong.

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"C'mon Yu." Xinlong coaxed as he pulled ZeYu onto his feet. The soles hit the cold wooden surface and sent a shiver through the younger's spine. He tugged at the loosely fitted t-shirt around his waist and rested his forehead on the older boy's shoulder.

"Where are we going so early?" ZeYu mumbled, eyes still full of sleep. "Hanyu wanted us to meet at the cavern remember?" Xinlong explained as he pressed a kiss to Zeyu's neck and shoulder. ZeYu only nodded and tried to wake himself up a bit. Xinlong wasn't helping any by kissing him and making him feel every more comfortable and relaxed.

"Can't we be late?" He hummed, picking at Xinlong's polo shirt collar, and gracefully pulling him back down to the mattress with him.

"You know I'm never late." Xinlong joked, self aware of his own terrible attendance. "Well maybe just this once?" ZeYu played along, pressing a kiss to the older boy's lips.

"Okay, just this once." Xinlong agreed with a small smile.

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That was the day it wall happened. ZeYu mulled over the memory.

"If I hadn't have been so damn horny as a kid I could've helped better." He shook his head as he walked on down the path and thought over how regrets.