Darkest Shadows

11) In This Moment

"Even if time runs out tomorrow, I'll forever bethankful that I got a today with you."--Rhett

♡

One year later...

2981

Tarver is three, Jaci is two, AJ is one, and the newest baby, Lio, is four weeks old. Ro and Ashely finally got the son they wanted and the first black person in the Highrise, adding to the diversity they always dreamed of.

Ambrose tried to be happy for his adopted sisters and he was, but something was missing inside of him. He really wants that daughter that he and Jax decided they wanted to adopt and it's hard to watch all of his family members have kids when he doesn't, he wants that family with Jax, he wants to have the real engagement and wedding ring that he's been dreaming of for four years. He's tired of waiting but he doesn't want to mess anything up between them, and Ro and Ashely just adopted a baby so right now isn't the right time to take the attention. Ambrose feels a hand on his arm and looks to his left where Rhea stands with a sleeping Tarver in her arms. "Hey," she says simply.

"Hey," he responds.

"Talk to me, I can see you are upset, and you do not want to talk to Jax about it."

Damn you, he thinks. She always knows what is wrong and yet she makes him say it anyway. "I'm just being insecure again; the meds are a little slow to work so I'm still kind of unstable."

"Can I ask you something and have you answer it honestly?" Ambrose nods. "Have you done anything to yourself?"

His breath hitches in his lungs and he tries to act nonchalant, but Rhea catches it, she waves Gemini over and hands their sleeping son over, and talks to him lowly in Spanish. "De acuerdo."

Tarver starts to stir but Gemini rocks him back to sleep and kisses his head as Rhea pulls Ambrose out of the room and up the stairs to his room where she sits him down on the bed and crouches before him with his hands in hers. "Where." Not a question but a statement leaving no room for disobedience or negotiation. He begins to look away, but she puts a hand on his cheek to keep him from turning away. "I am not going to judge you or be upset Ambrose. If anyone knows the torture of hurting yourself it is me. I could not help myself, but if I can help you then I will, but you have to let me. I get if you do not want to talk to Jax yet, that is okay, but will you talk to me? I will not tell anyone else, not even Gemini. You can trust me. Where did you do it?"

Ambrose refuses to look at her, but he lifts his left leg slightly and flinches when he feels her hand on his thigh. "Can I look at it?"

He nods slightly and stands, she goes over to the door and locks it before coming back to him. He lowers his pants and slightly rolls up the leg of his boxers to show the tops of his thigh. There is nothing sexual about it at all, they are both happy in their relationship and if there is one thing Rhea is, then it is fiercely loyal to her husband, she'd never look at or sexually touch another man. Her only goal is to help Ambrose.

"When did you do this?"

He looks down at the floor in utter shame as he whispers, "Two nights ago."

"Is this why you did not come down for Serial Killer Night?" It's a new family tradition to do Serial Killer Night every Friday at nine p.m. after the kids have gone to sleep and only the parents and adults were awake. "Hey, I am not judging."

He nods briefly. "I'm sorry."

"You do not have to apologize; I know how hard it is and the tiniest of things can set it off but over time you will develop a thicker skin for it. So he does not know? I guess that is why he has been grumpy, you two have not...been un-abstinent since because you are scared he is going to see and flip out?"