The human heart. How vulnerable it is. It sees beauty in almost everything. Even that which hurts us. A heart broken, not once, but twice starts to build walls. It locks people out. Forgets how to trust. They say you fall in love three times during your life.
The first your little human heart will love is like that of a fantasy. You feel like you're in a dream, like nothing can go wrong. Of course it ends eventually, but that's alright. It's not the worst. You're still friends, still in touch. There's still trust, still kindness. You may still visit each other, do weird things together. Things that only both of you ever did. The first love you feel always lasts, even if it is just in friendship.
The second time you love prepare to be hurt. It may feel like true love at first but you are wrong. You'll be happy for a while. Have good times together. It'll be nice, comfortable. Then there comes a block. A wedge one could say. There's no telling where it comes from. It just sort of appears. Tears holes in what you have. Rips it apart piece by piece. Until it's finally over. Even then something may bounce back to hit you. A cold, sharp thing that feels like a knife. Stabbed then twisted, the aching pain of loss and dying love. You may become close again, but even that's uncertain.
The final love creeps up on you. It's not expected. But it's there and it true. It could start as a friendship. Something comforting. Shared experiences maybe. Someone who can understand you for being you. It develops slowly. Glances between each other. Laughing together at the same thing. Perhaps even holding hands to keep warm in the cold. The third love is likely to be the one that lasts long.
I've felt first and second love. There's were good times, and the bad. Kindness and hurt. I do not know if I have found the third love yet. I do hope I have. My walls are starting to break, I feel safe, comfortable. I do not know wether I should give you affectionate names yet. Do not know if I should speak them out loud. But in my head they linger every moment. When you smile, I smile too. When you message my day becomes so much better. You always know how to make me happy, and for that dear heart I thank you.
That is what the human heart is. That is what it has always been. Bent and broken but still able to love.
