HOMOPHOBIA [BXB]

CHAPTER 25

LEO'S POV

"Let's break up... Let's end everything here."

"W-What?"

He rolled his eyes looking down at his lap. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks but wiped them off my face taking a step forward.

"Why so suddenly?"

"It's not that I don't love you anymore but- I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically. I can't endure this pain anymore."

He spoke looking up at me with tears flowing down his cheeks as well. He heaved out a sigh and continued speaking.

"I'm so so sorry I'm- no I cannot."

He choked on his tears wiping away them as I felt more and more tears rolling down my cheeks.

"We promised to each other-"

"Promises are meant to be broken Leo."

I stared at him in disbelief and spoke up again.

"We promised to each other that we would go through this together!"

"We did but I can't anymore! I feel like I'll die one day if this keeps on continuing! For fucks sake try to understand me."

"Look Leo, you are weak both mentally and physically. You don't even know how to defend yourself and you always depend on me. Okay.. I'm your boyfriend and it's my responsibility to keep you safe but- there's a point where I break down too.

Also, they told that they would leave us alone if we break up right? So that's what we are going to do... It's for the better none of us will get hurt anymore, be it mentally or physically.

I'm worried about my health. I want to be selfish now and you should be too if you want to stay happy."

I bit my lip trying to hold in my sobs listening to him talk in a cold tone with no emotion visible in those eyes of his.

"I can't be happy without you."

"You should try to be happy with or without me. Your happiness comes from within you don't try to search it in others."

"W-Why are you talking like this? You are kidding right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding!? My life is on the brink! They might do anything to us any moment! And I can even die in the process of saving you from those bastards because you fool don't know how to fight for yourself!

I don't want that to happen to neither of the us so leave."

"No- let's fight for us please."

"I'm tired of doing that since years and I give up. I want to fit in myself with the rules or what you say stereotypes made by our society."

I stared at him with a shocked expression on to which he glared at me but I can see that he's hurting too.

"D-Don't you dare do that Tom. You don't need to change yourself-"

"Oh yes I'm exactly going to do that because I want to live and this is the only way they will let me live if even it means that I won't be happy! You go fight for yourself all alone if you're that brave."

"You don't need to satisfy them. Your happiness-"

"Cut the crap already and think about it technically Leo. Do you think this society which is rotten long ago will change if we fight? Wherever we go we need to endure hate and I don't think any person can endure that much of hate each and every day which slowly kills them from inside. At a point, they will break apart and that's what happened to me today. I'm tired and I am giving up on myself."

"I-"

"I regret everything... I regret becoming this way, I hate myself for becoming someone who society hates so much, I hate myself for letting everything happen on its own thinking that it's okay when in real it isn't.

I feel like if only I was a heterosexual then maybe my life would be normal like others... Having friends, no hate and nothing.

It might be fine when we are between the four walls but once we get outside... That's where we see the true colours of this cruel world full of people who can't let others be happy for many unknown reasons, hating on each other every second, being selfish and greedy.

So... I need to change myself to avoid getting hate."

I stared at him blankly listening to his words unable to utter a single word.
He's such a strong person and seeing him like this hurts, so much.

He sobbed burying his face into his hands as I stood there like a statue with dried tears on my cheeks not knowing what to do now.

It's all over right? Right.

"Leave."

He sternly said turning his head away from me. I shook my head and tried to hold his hand but he shoved my hand away hissing at me.

"Leave."

He said removing the bracelet around his wrist and handing it to me. It was the gift I bought on our one year anniversary.

"No-"

"Get the fuck out of here! We are over!!"

He shouted glaring at me sharply making me gulp and take a step back. I let a sob fisting my hands with the bracelet in my hold and took one last glance at him before turning around and ran out of the room.

"We are over."

I mumbled to myself wiping my tears off my face which were blurring my vision and continued running out of the hospital.

His words continuously rang inside my ears which made me grip my hair tightly as if the voice of his will stop talking.

I closed my eyes shut with tears flowing down my cheeks as I tried to regain my breath. I gulped trying to not think about anything at the moment but concentrate on my breath.

After a few minutes of taking deep breaths, I finally relaxed and leaned my back on my study table with tears still coming out of my eyes.

I sighed wiping the tears off my face and grabbed the bracelets standing up on my feet and walked towards the bin in my room.

Should I throw these away?

Can I?

Will I be able to throw them?

I tossed them into the bin and turned around walking towards the box picking up the remaining things and placed the box back into its place.

I sighed glancing at the bin. I decided to throw them because I don't want any bad memories coming back to me everytime I look at them.

It's for my own better.

I was never angry at him for talking to me the way he did years ago but instead I was disappointed that be chose to give up on himself. He chose to not fight anymore just to keep others happy. He didn't prioritise himself.

I know it was hard to endure all that hate and pain because I was suffering  too, I still am but no one knows that. The reason I chose to not tell anyone about me being a gay is... I didn't want to become like Tom at the end losing myself because I love myself too much to do that.

But I kept the fact away to avoid hate but once I'm ready I'll face the society. I'll never change the real me to satisfy people which only proves them that they are right when in fact they aren't, they never will be.

Never.