LH - „I love him and I hate myself for that. I hate myself for being that stupid to think he would stay with me. I'm not as grown up and mature as an-anyone of you. I t-tried and now? Look at me." I laughed historically while sliding down the cabine...
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Sunoo
„Sunwoo..would you like to join us to the table?..you don't need to my baby." my mother entered my room after a soft knock. I was burried in my blanket's, playing with my cat figures I got as a gift from Niki on christmas.
„No..of course I join you mom. I waited for the food you cooked for ages. Give me a second to change my clothes." I gave her the most brightest smile but her expression didn't changed. „Don't force yourself to smile my sunshine, don't break your heart. As a mother, I could hear it shattering and so did mine, we wait for you there so come down when you feel like it." She was sending me a flying kiss and left my room, softly closing the door.
My lips trembled as I looked at my phone. It was out of battery but I didn't charged it, I don't need any reasons to hate Heeseung more then I do now but my love for him was way bigger then my hatred.
I simply took a cardigan in red out of my closet and started making my way slowly downstairs. I was feeling dizzy from all these tears I tried hiding from my female family members but it was worth it even tho mom knew I felt unwell. - "Hey Jagi." My sister greeted me with a long hug and I just leaned into her touch.
She must have finally returned from work and could only greet me by calling me multiple time's today...
My father gave me a smile and I sat down. "So..Sunwoo, any news you would like to share with us?" my father asked me before he cut his beef. He put a piece firstly on my plate so I thanked him before answering his question.
„Not much..I just needed a break from the dorm. It's suffocating me to be there all day after work. I missed you guy's too and I know I didn't had much time calling you..." I lied. I had enough days I could call my father but I was somewhat afraid of him finding out about me liking my member..
It sounded weird but he used to always talk with Jungwon and sometimes stuff slips out from him like the one time he unintentionally told my father that Niki hugged me while sleeping.
He wasn't mad.. he said nothing and that was scarier. Im sure he wont accept me so I try keeping him out of my business as much as possible. He had his own worries too..
„I told you that you should quit being an Idol and work with us." My sister shushed my father quickly but I just looked at him blankly, I wanted to avoid that too.. „What, I told him that since he talked about wanting to be a singer but he secretly committed going to that stupid survival show without my acknowledge."
My sister put her fork down. „Appa! Stop that! Don't you think it's enough? Every time Sunwoo comes home, you act like that! Sunwoo always tells you the same answer! He enjoys that more than anything and that's it"
My mother just agreed. „Hunny, our Son always wanted to become one. He talks about it since he turned 11 so let him be. You just make it har-"
„You were righ..right I guess. I still don't regret it even if you are disappointed father. I go to my room now and take a nap. I have work tomorrow to attend and I can't miss practice.." I agreed with him while letting tears run down my face. My heart ached a bit but I was used to him not liking what I did.
