Secrets and Oaths✓

Daddy Dearest

This weekend was pure bliss. I had never felt so relaxed. We didn't really go out, choosing to order room service and just bask in the knowledge that we would't be interrupted. I did call home on Saturday when Andy went down to the pool for a swim, checking in with Jimmy on how the boys were doing.

On Sunday afternoon we were heading back and stopped at the diner we left my car at on the way out, having one last meal together before we settled back into reality. "This weekend was amazing." I said, taking a bite out of the burger that I ordered.

"We should try to do it again sometime." I looked up at him, incredulously.

"I don't think we'll be able to pull this off again. There was too many risky pieces that just happened to work out in our favor this time."

"Well what if I finally left her?" I choked on the fry I just put in my mouth.

"What?"

"What if I made the separation permanent? We're already living mostly separate lives. She does her thing and I do mine. The only time we really talk anymore is about Jacob. What if we finally went through the divorce? You could leave Jimmy and we could finally get that happiness that we haven't had in our other relationships in years."

"You would actually leave her for me? Not just say you will like every married man in an affair says?"

"Would you leave Jimmy for me?"

"In a heartbeat if I knew you were going to leave."

"I'll call the divorce attorney tomorrow."

"Ok." I responded with a smile. He paid our bill after that and we both left. He walked me to my car, placing one last kiss on my lips before getting in his car and driving the remaining half hour home. As I stood next to my car for a little, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, alerting me that something wasn't right. I looked around a bit, but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

I got home and Jacob had already been picked up by Andy. Charlie even greeted me nicely, which sent me through a few loops, I'm not going to lie. Jimmy kissed me cheek and asked me how my weekend with the girls was. Doing my best to be convincing I just told him that it was nice. We didn't do too much, mostly just hit up the bar at the hotel and spent most of the weekend drunk, with the exception of a few hours when I called Charlie to check in. We went to bed that night in comfortable silence, Jimmy barely kissing me. I know that I had just spent the weekend with the man I'm cheating on him with but the fact that he hasn't so much as kissed me in months is doing nothing to help the situation. This rut that we've made for ourselves needs to end. "I think we need to talk." I said into the darkness.

"What's up?" he asked, exhaustion evident in his voice.

"Are you still happy?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we've been together for a really long time Jimmy and we're just kind of stuck in this groundhog's day of a situation. We're no closer to getting married now than we were when you first proposed. I know that initially it was my fault that we didn't get married but I've been steady in my job for five years. Doesn't that say something about us that we haven't taken that initiative yet?"

"Are you ready to get married now?" He didn't seem too excited about that option, probably about as much as me.

"No but I don't think you are either. And I think it's not that we're not ready to be married, I think that we're just existing with each other. Neither one of us reaches out to make the first move with romance anymore. I couldn't even tell you the last time we had sex. Be honest with me. Are we just together because it's comfortable and the thought of not being with someone after seventeen years is a little terrifying?"