Meylisah was the daughter of a past maid and best friend of Hurrem sultan. When her parents tragically died she was taken under Hurrem sultan's wing to be cared for. Not really adopted for it was forbidden in Islam but she was just glad to have a ro...
"How's the harem been, Meylisah?" Hürrem sultan asked. We were sat in the harem among the maids eating and drinking. They were all talking and laughing but they were sure to be conscious of what they said or how loud they laughed in Hürrem sultan's presence.
"Alright Sultanim, since Canfeda Kalfa was kicked out and Nurbanu was executed, the harem has been calm" I answered. I fixed Orhan's posture in between my arms.
"Perfect, even though I wish the harem was used for more than just maids but I'm glad it has been calm around here," she said taking a sip of her juice. Her words stung a bit and made me look down in shame, shame for being selfishly in love with her son and wanting him all to myself.
"Where is Selim?" Mihrimah asked changing the subject. I gave her a grateful smile which she returned with a wink.
"His highness went on a tour with his majesty and Sehzade Cihangir in the streets of Manisa" Esma Hatun answered. I was nervous about this tour because Selim has barely been able to proceed with our plan of pulling the people to his side and I was afraid someone would judge him in front of his father.
"Will they be long?" Hürrem sultan asked. She picked up Murad from the flood between us and placed him on her lap. She fixed his Kaftan as he whined wanting to be let go so he could explore.
"No Sultanim, the Sultan said that they will be back in time for lunch. He wishes to eat with his family" Esma answered. Hürrem sultan let Murad down from her lap. The one-year-old crawled over to me and placed his small hands on my lap and looked up at me with his adorable eyes making my heart flutter.
"Mama," he said. I grinned down at my firstborn as he said the only word he knew and has been saying constantly ever since he said it the first time. Much to Selim's dismay Murad would scream it as loud as he can when he was around, it felt like he knew it annoyed his father that he still couldn't say 'papa'.
"Yes, darling?" I asked tilting my head to the side. Murad pulled at my sleeve until my hand hovered over the table in between me and the other sultanas.
"Water?" I asked taking an extra cup of water from the table. Murad nodded pulling my arm closer towards him. I chuckled as he chugged the entire cup before he continued crawling away from us and down the harem with one of the maids trailing behind him to keep him safe and to keep watch over him.
"So how did the tour go?" I asked Selim. I slipped off his Kaftan and folded it in half. Selim turned around to face me with a smile on his face.
"It was fantastic and the people seem to already love me" Selim answered. I smiled and turned to place his Kaftan on the couch in his room.
"You seem a little sad" Selim pointed out. He turned me around to face him and placed a hand on my cheek.
"It's just something Hürrem Sultan said about the harem and the lack of concubines, I'll get over it by tomorrow " I shook off her worth. Selim sighed and pulled me in for a hug. He placed a kiss on my cheek and rubbed up and down my back. A knock made us pull away and Selim let in whoever knocked. It was Esma Hatun who had a frown on her face.
"I apologize for interrupting, Şehzadem, I am here to deliver a present from Hürrem sultan," she said nervously. I looked at Selim who seemed just as confused at the sudden present.
"Bring it in" Selim ordered. Esma looked at me for a second and I nodded for her to bring in the present. My jaw dropped when a blonde maid walked into the room and bowed to Selim.
"Excuse me" I bowed to Selim and left the room before he could do or say anything. I knew Selim better than I knew myself and the chances of him returning his mother's gift are slim because he wants her approval and he knew that if he didn't have it then he can only dream about the throne but never ascend it.
I ran into my room and locked the door behind myself. I was glad that the children and my maids had their own room in the harem. I slid down the door as the tears I had tried so hard to keep at bay while walking here, fell down my eyes. She never let another woman come near Sultan Suleiman yet she tried very hard to make sure her sons had many concubines.
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I felt betrayed, she raised me as her own and cared for me like a mother would do her children. Oh, how I regret falling for that façade of hers. I wish I had been raised by Esma Hatun alone or in an orphanage and it would have been much better than the betrayal I feel now.
Hürrem Sultan was like a mother to me since I didn't remember my real mother. She cared for me and loved me and I thought I was the daughter of her dearest friend but it seems I was wrong. I pulled myself off the floor trying to keep my sons quiet to not be heard by the rest of the harem. I walked over to my bed and sat down on it feeling numb all over my bed yet my eyes wouldn't stop crying.
I felt betrayed by the idea of Selim touching her right now as I break down. He was probably undressing her by now after getting to know her a little. They are probably kissing and laughing at my misery. Could he really do that? Was he really with her right? How could he do this to me the love of his life and the mother of his children? I vow to never let him near me if he and actually touched that concubine.
