Dogman Shit Post And Total Things That Don't Make Sense

incorrect quotes

Dog man has a ✨speaking collar✨
(These are from a generator)
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Petey's mom: wow good work on the Halloween decorations where did you get the fake skeletons?

Petey's dad: fake?

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Lil Petey : *is visibly upset*

Petey: what happened I haven't seen you this sad scince you found out candy land wasn't a actual country
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Petey: what the fuck is wrong with you?

Dogman : you could at least start with a good morning

Petey :good morning. what the fuck is wrong with you?!
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Sarah: Dumbest scar stories go!

Lil petey: I once burned myself while drinking hot chocolate

Chief:  I was taking a cup of noodles to the table and spilled some on my hand, I have a really bad burn.

Dog man:  I have a piece of graphite on my leg for accidently stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Nurse lady:  I once dropped a hair dryer on my leg  and burned it.

Petey:

Petey: I have emotional scars.
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Petey:  Dogman was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Dogman:  Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Petey: Dogman, you ate a chair.
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(The following 2 are when they were young and barely dating)
((So Sydney is Petey's Mom and Liam is his dad))

Liam: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Sydney: Of course, I can't flip this table by myself

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Sydney: I think I'm falling for you

Liam: Then get up
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Nurse lady: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Chief: This is a lie.

Chief: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Chief: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.
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Petey: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Lil Petey: Okay, but in my defense, molly bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Petey: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
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S

arah: *Gently taps table*

Chief: *Taps back*

Dog man: What are they doing?

Nurse lady Morse code.

Sarah: *Aggressively taps table*

Chief: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK
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(the next one is 0 my opinion is it wrong to kinda like the fact that grampa dosent change?)

Grampa: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Milly: nope, absolutely not.

Chief: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Petey: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.  (oh c'mon it's not like he scarred you. Oh wait-)

Dog Man: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
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Lil Petey: Hey grampa why are you smiling?

Petey: yeah why don't you tell him dad?

Grampa: Petey fell off the stairs

Petey: OH REALLY??! FELL? OR PUSHED?
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Liam: I fell—

Sydney: From heaven?

Liam: No, I literally fell—

Sydney: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Liam: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sydney: Okay, but do you think I'm
pretty? Be honest.
(I don't know if this one would have been better the other way around 🤷‍♀️)
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Eso sera Todo