Based on: https://www.instagram.com/p/B61BWLpAfEp/?igshid=xq6ppg7w46p7
Dedicated to: ShannonCataldi for our conversation on it
Concept: Jeff decides to go see a priest for all his weird non sins.
After everything he had done in the past, Jeff felt bad, really bad. He felt guilty, and knew that with everything he has done, it's time to finally to confess about all his sins, even if it will bite him in the butt one day, but he knew that once he confessed he won't have a guilty conscience anymore. Jeff took a deep breath, walked inside the doors, sat in the confessional booth at the his local church and then said
"Forgive me father I have sinned." There was a moment of silence, and then he heard
"What is it that you have done my child?" Jeff was nervous and then said
"I once swapped two of my friends rooms around, and they didn't even notice for two weeks, but they knew it was me." The priest on the other side of the confessional was a little confused on what he had heard, and said
"That's weird, but that's not a sin." Jeff didn't listen to him at all, and continued
"One time instead of actually eating dinner, I had snuck the ice cream sundae dish from the kitchen, added extra chocolate topping extra ice cream, and an extra cherry, and I ate it in my dorm, and my friends wondered why I didn't go to class." The priest was even more confused and said
"Again weird, but not a sin." Jeff wasn't paying attention to the priest and continued
"Every morning instead of eating healthy like I'm suppose to, I make pancakes and put a lot of whipped cream and sprinkles on them, but I don't eat all of it." Priest didn't know what to do and said
"Very weird, but again that's not a sin." Jeff took a deep breath and said
"I cheat on my diet." The priest didn't know whether or not to stand and leave or stay and listen to these weird non sins, he decided that he would stay and he said
"Son, everyone cheats on their diet, it's not a sin." Jeff then quickly said
"I put my car in neutral, and let it roll back a little so people would think I'm driving a manual." The priest was getting more and more confused and said
"Once again that's weird. And its not a sin." Jeff was not paying attention and he continued his confessions and said
"My friends don't know I'm here and I totally forgot that they wanted me to get things for this party they are having." The priest was so confused and thought that he was better off leaving the confessional booth, when he had the chance. The priest sighed and said
"Kid that's not a sin." in that moment the priest was met with silent, slowly walked out, and looked in the other side and saw no one was in there. The priest was somewhat pleased as he didn't know if he could handle anymore weird non sins, he walked back to his side, and sat down, and he heard
"Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest knew that it was the same person as before and he nervously said
"What is it have you done my child?" Jeff on the other side said
"I once skipped classes just so I could sleep." The priest couldn't take it anymore and said
"That's not a sin."
On the outside of the confessional booth, Nick Duval had heard all the weird confessions, and he knew instantly that it could only be Jeff. Nick walked up to the confessional booth, opened the curtain and saw Jeff sitting in there with his head in his hands. Nick smirked at him and said
"Jeffy do you even know how this thing works?" Jeff looked up and saw his best friend looking at him. Jeff blushed and said
"Yeah." Nick folded his arms and said
"You sure?" Jeff blushed bright red and said
"I really do know how it works." Nick looked at him and said
"Prove it to me." Jeff sighed and said
"Fine, forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest heard the conversation and was nervous, and he said
"What is it have you done my child?" Jeff looked at Nick still standing in door way of the confessional booth and said
"One time I got so drunk, started stripping my clothes off, and started dancing on people's laps and was licking their faces." The priest was grateful that it wasn't a weird non sin, he was grossed out about the confession but grateful that it wasn't weird, and he said
"Finally a sin, what made you think that was appropriate?" Nick was a little grossed out, closed the curtain and then walked away, shaking his head at his best friend. Jeff sighed as he watched nick walk away and said
"I was trying to make my best friend jealous, because I'm in love with him, and I didn't know what to do to get his attention."
