A Life with Levi (Levihan Fanfiction)

The Surgery

Levi got back on his horse and rode toward to headquarters. When he arrived Erwin stood at the door with his arms crossed.
"You're late." He said looking down at Levi.
"For what?" Levi responded having no idea what he was talking about.
"The meeting we have to discuss our next expedition. Now hurry up, corporal." Erwin said making his way down the hallway to the meeting room.
When Levi walked in and saw everyone sitting down waiting for him. There was one seat empty... Hanji's. Levi didn't want to show how he felt, knowing that Hanji would never sit in that seat again. He just kept his blank face and walked to his seat.
"First off, Levi, where is Hanji?" Erwin asked.
Levi looked down at the table, with his hair drifting around the sides of his head blocking the view of his face. "She's at the doctor" He mumbled with his teeth grinding together.
"Is something wrong, Corporal?" Armin asked quietly from across the table noticing Levi was hiding his face.
"No... If you'll excuse me." He muttered standing up, pushing his chair out with his legs. Erwin gave a small nod and Levi speedily walked out and slammed the door behind himself, still keeping his head down in the process. He was about to go to his room, but stopped and turned around and pressed his ear against the meeting room door.
"Does anyone know what's wrong with Levi?" Erwin asked confused.
"I don't know, but he's been acting kind of weird ever since the colossal Titan appeared behind the treehouse." Levi could hear Eren say though the thick door.
"Levi also yelled at us pretty badly to get away from Hanji when she was crushed by the rubble... What if he..." Mikasa added but Erwin interrupted.
"No I can confirm he does not have feelings for her. It's obvious he doesn't because he has always disliked her. She is our only scientist, so if we lost her we may never find out the secrets of Titans. He's probably just worried about the studies.." Erwin said.
Levi walked back to his room and locked the door behind him and slammed his clenched fists onto the top of his desk.
"UGH!" Levi screamed, tears starting to race down his face and his teeth pressed together. He collapsed onto his knees and buried his head into his arms, that were now crossed on top of the desk. He sat there and sobbed for a few moments, thinking, thinking of Hanji. "What is it like for Hanji through all this? ... She'll probably be so confused when, and if, she wakes up from surgery. ... If she doesn't make it through the surgery, she'll be gone and I would lose another loved one...." Levi thought as he sat there. He stood up and slammed his fists on the table again.
"WHY ME?" He yelled out hysterical with depression. "why......me....." He repeated but under his breath. His head dropped down again and more tears streamed down his cheeks and nose. He stood up a little more straight and ran his fingers through the front of his hair revealing his bloodshot eyes and pink, weary skin around them. His eyes were still very wet and tear streaks still remained on his face. He let out a sigh and got undressed and put on some comfortable pants and didn't bother putting on a shirt. He got into bed and sniffed a few times caused by the crying. He let out one last sigh and thought about how Hanji was doing because she was probably in surgery at that moment. His thoughts eventually drifted him to sleep.