Twisted Wonderland|Oneshots & Scenarios

👑 Forget Beauty [Vil X Reader]

TW//Self-Hate

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Well it definitely wasn't you. At least, that was what you thought. No matter how you looked at yourself, you couldn't bring yourself to love yourself and accept yourself, nor did you have confidence in yourself. It sucks doesn't it? How society has people who make people insecure of themselves.

Your negative thoughts invade your mind and you only sat in front of your vanity in silence. Your face void of emotion and eyes dull, sitting there like a puppet that was abandoned.

"If I get more pretty, do you think he will like me?"

You touched your face and thought that perhaps you should start wearing makeup. Even if you change your face a bit, he'll still like you if you were pretty right?
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You were looking for someone. Someone that could help you with changing yourself. At this point you hated how ugly you looked. In truth, you weren't ugly, but thinking you were ugly made you ugly. However you didn't know how to change that so you frantically went around the school to find Rook. He'll be nice enough to help you.

You spotted him sitting atop a tree and you called out to him. You begged him to teach you how to do makeup. He didn't question it, although seeing your desperation seemed to intrigue him a little. You needed all the help you could get and you will do anything to yourself if it meant that he will like you back.

Makeup brushes, Palettes, Ink... how disgusting. Looking in the mirror as Rook taught you how makeup works, you couldn't help but still find yourself ugly even with all this makeup on your face. All of this makeup won't make you feel less insecure anyway. Well, at least it was better than nothing.

"My,my, (Y/N), has something happened recently?" Rook questioned you, sensing the negativity.

"Oh, no, Rook. Everything's fine, I just didn't get enough sleep is all." Lies. You didn't want their pity. Fake it till you make it, is what everyone would always do, so you doing it wont be much of a difference.

"Hm...If you say so then, monsieur/mademoiselle." The rest of the day consisted of Rook teaching you makeup and with that, you gained a bit of confidence.

It wasn't much but at least you still gained something right? Better than nothing. Now then, time to impress him.
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In the following week, you used Rooks lessons to your advantage and manage to gain a few compliments from people due to the makeup you have on.

They only complimented you because of the makeup, they weren't complimenting YOU. Negative thoughts flood your mind. In your defense you thought it was true. I mean, they never ever came up to talk to you before, but now that you've enhanced your features just a tad bit with makeup all of a sudden they try to come up to you. It's quite repulsive, you felt disgusted at human behavior, and you felt a bit disgusted about yourself.

This didn't go unnoticed by a certain dorm head though. Vil had keen eyes and he'd noticed that you've been putting makeup on this week. He figured that Rook has been teaching you makeup since he's able to spot almost every difference in how everyone applies makeup. He's been eyeing you ever since you stepped into NRC. Regardless of beauty, he still felt some attraction towards you. He always knew you were faking your emotions when something bad happened, but he finds strength in that. The way you were able to hold yours face up high in situations and have this facade of confidence even though you in reality it was just to pretend you were fine, Vil saw strength in that. Noting the negative emotion that he sensed, he walked over to you in hopes of figuring out the problem.

The group of students finally leave you alone which made you somewhat relieved. You preferred being the loner you were, sitting far away from others and only observe your surroundings. As you were looking around you saw a pair of purple eyes meet yours. Oh, it's him, and he was walking towards you.

Act normal, you said to yourself as you showed him a smile. Oh how fake that smile was, but he smiled back so he probably didn't notice anything wrong.

"Hey there, Vil. How have you been?" You smiled your usual fake smile, hoping it could trick Vil too, since you knew he had a sharp eye for things. Especially beauty.

"Everything's been the same, although..." He trailed off, looking at you. Your heart was pounding. Did he find out? He couldn't have right? After all that you did, you just wanted validation from him and for him to possibly be able to like you.

"Hm?" Apprehension started to build inside you as you though about what he may say.

"Although I'd like to ask you how have YOU been? And don't give me the "oh I'm good" excuse, I know you aren't. So, tell me what's wrong." He plopped down on the seat next to you and crossed his arms. Waiting patiently.

"I....I..." You felt as if your throat has just closed up on you. Answer his goddamn question you fool. You kept trying to reply but it seemed as you couldn't and you started to tear up and shake. Vil didn't ignore this and figured out why immediately.

"Ah, I see. You can't seem to come to love yourself and would rather let yourself down instead. So that's why you started wearing makeup all of a sudden." He rubbed circles on your back to calm you down which worked, but your were still crying because what he said was true and you didn't like that the man you liked found out about this.

"I...I just wanted to feel c-confident a-and beautiful..." You said while choking on your own words due to the sobbing. You wiped your eye with your hands which ended up smearing the makeup, you didn't mind though, since he already knew everything.

"Sigh, listen, confidence won't just come all of a sudden if you put makeup on. You have to work on what's on the inside too. If anything, your inner self is more important than your outer appearance. What's the point of looking beautiful if you can't even take care of yourself?" Oh, you should've noticed that sooner. You mentally thanked yourself but it still didn't solve your problem. Your crush was right in front of you, looking at your pitiful face.

"B-but still! I still have to keep up a good appearance if I want validation! I even tried to make myself beautiful just so you could notice me because I like you! If I can't become beautiful then what's the point of me doing what I did up until now?" You blurted out in a really fast way. Vil only looked at you in shock. Half of that shock was because you probably didn't even take in what he said fully, but the other half of his shock was due to you liking him.

You only realized what you said a few seconds after and your eyes widened. And now I've fucked up, good going, (Y/N). Not wanting to be embarrassed anymore, you stood up abruptly and tried to leave, only to be pulled into a kiss by him.

It was gentle, comforting, and whatever negative things you were thinking went away immediately. Once it ended both of you could only stare at each other. You with a confused face and him with a gentle smile.

"Wha- why?!" I'm ugly aren't I? So why would he? You started to question why he did that and he only replied with a smile.

"Because you ARE beautiful, (Y/N). Yes, you may have negative thoughts about yourself, but you never even tried to face it directly. Like I said, when it comes to beauty, it doesn't just go down to looks. The inside matters too. And from what I've observed whenever I look at you, you are the most beautiful person in my eyes, (Y/N). So forget beauty, have a little trust in yourself, I'll help you if you need it." He still smiled at you with his gentle face and you started to smile too.

What he said really warmed your heart and now instead of sad tears, you were crying happy tears. In an instant, you hugged him and buried your face in his chest. He stumbled back a bit but quickly gained his balance.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" You repeated to him and he only looked down at you and patted your head.

"Yeah, let's get you through this together, little peacock."

(Rook was stalking them and sobbing at the scene in front of him because it was so beautiful, mans is literally saying stuff like "beauté" lmao)
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End Note
So yeah, I really did mean it when I said there would be an immense amount of self-hate. Most of it is written from my personal life so I guess there's too many details in this fic lol.

I got inspiration from the songs Sippy Cup by Melanie Martinez and Prom Queen by Beach Bunny.