Hidden Royalties

twenty three ༉‧₊˚.

SOMETHING ABOUT DOCTOR appointments haunted me. I feared for the outcomes the doctor had assessed. When I was a kid my mother was always in the corner of the room giving reasons as to why it was my fault I was unhealthy and gaslighting me in why I was the way I was. I couldn't be the skinny perfect princess she wanted me to be and instead, she got the kind that wanted to go to a normal school and live parent-free for four years. Guess you can only win some and not all.

My mother sat in the same corner she would usually do, arms and legs crossed, listening attentively to what the doctor had to say.

"Mary, I will have to refer to a recovery programme as you are severely underweight for your height in addition to your abnormal eating patterns. I'll have someone grab you the pills for your iron deficiency per normal. Other than that, I'll see you at our next visit," the doctor concluded before they turned towards my mother. "The recovery programme is if Mary stops taking the diet pills. Up to you Queen Dianne."

The same procedure every visit. Iron deficiency and being underweight. Mother would always choose the pills over the recovery programme. She always did.

"Mary can decide," she said quietly. I looked at her with wide eyes. Her response was different this time around. The doctor looked at me once again asking for what I wanted.

"I'll pass on the pills and the programme. I'll ring if I decide if I need the programme," I said to the doctor.

"That's totally fine, however, there will be some side effects from the withdrawal of the pill. I will prescribe some medicine to subdue some of the side effects but I will be needing to see you in a week."

"Sounds good," I said before finishing up the appointment.

For the first time in ages, I walked out of there feeling good about myself. Weird how my mother had allowed me to express my own option. I think something changed in her.

I got into the car with my mother and waited for the awkward silence of us not wanting to converse with each other. I wanted to ask her why she let me decide but I didn't want the disappointment of her answer to affect my day.

The car stopped in front of some cafe near the city. "Why are we stopped here?" I asked the driver. "This is not Petunia."

"We're going out for brunch," Mother said as she got out of the car.

"I have class in twenty minutes."

"I've waived your absence by the Principal."

I was annoyed, "You can't just make plans for me."

"Mary Ella Amelia, we're having brunch." Those were her final words before she and our security walked into the cafe. Unbelievable.

We sat down at a secluded table away from the public area to avoid the general public gazes. Mother sat down and looked at the menu while I was still in disbelief at the situation.

"Why are we getting brunch," I asked, but she ignored me.

"I might get the eggs benedict. What about you, Mary? I heard the french toast is good," she said nonchalantly looking at the menu.

I looked at the description of the french toast and felt immediately uneased, "Sugar, custard, bread, maple syrup and ice cream. That's an overwhelming amount of unnecessary calories Mother."

"Don't speak like that. You should eat without thinking about how many stupid calories there are in a single serving of food."

"Then tell me why we are here getting brunch."

She took a deep breath before putting down her menu. "I've come to realise the extraordinary amount of pressure I've put on you and how unhappy you've been. All because of me. You should have told me."