Living in your universe - BTS OT7 x reader

Dark days and rays of light - Stigma

The fresh air was caressing over your skin and you wrapped the comfy, big coat closer around you, your breath puffing out into the dark night in white clouds. The neighborhood near the dorm was quiet, the streets empty and only some dogs barking or faint music sounding out of lit-up livings rooms, wavering over the dimly-lit streets. The steps of your worn-out sneakers lazily echoed on the concrete walkway out in the darkness.

You needed some time for yourself. Urgently. After you overheard the conversation in the hallway, you and Joon joined the others and tried to find an answer for the question, everyone seemed to have. Where was Yoongi? You were the last one, that had seen him, back in the kitchen and they all were as worried as you. At least Hobi got texts from him, from time to time, but nothing about his whereabouts or how he was. You talked and talked, running in circles and being left without a definite answer you all desperately yearned for. In the end, you all decided, that you needed time to think, time to be alone. And everyone agreed. Jimin went to his room and wanted to write on some lyrics, Tae disappeared into one of the bathrooms to take a long, hot shower. Jungkook asked for your permission, to dive into some gaming in your room, which you gave him happily. Joon wanted to spend some time with Jin and they both sat down in the kitchen over some tea and sweets. And Hobi excused himself into the big wardrobe on the first floor. He said something about speaking with army and when you walked back from the car park, you saw that he had uploaded his Weverse with a wardrobe selfie. You realized, that this was his way to seek comfort and you found it endearing..

As you walked along the empty streets, your gaze wandered over the dark landscape and the ever-busy city beneath you. Cars streamed through the big streets, like sparkling veins in a huge organism and your mind drifted away. Over the last few days, over to your feelings for all the boys and the moments you shared with all of them. You never had imagined, that you found yourself here, thousands of miles away from your old home, being in love with seven different people, hoping to share a future with them. But ... well. Here you were. Finally understanding what this chaos inside of you meant.

You wanted to be with them. Tae, Jimin, Kookie, Joon, Hobi, Jin, and Yoongi. They all held special places in your heart, you couldn't deny anymore. There was no turning back, no draw backs. You had actively decided to cross their paths and be a part of their life. Their universe. So you had to fight for it. No matter what.

At that moment you stopped in your tracks, right in the middle of the road, feeling deep inside of you. Could your heart take this? Are you willing to do everything you can, to sustain this life, this beautiful fantasy you hoped for? And then you remembered this special moment. A moment you had to decide the very same.

A burden we like to carry anytime if the prize is you.

These words echoed in your mind and suddenly you felt calm. He was right. The constant possibility of triggering rumors or scandals was a burden. Not being able to openly show your love for all of them was a burden. And having to hide behind masks, caps, and bodyguards was a burden. A burden you never wanted. But a burden you would take any time, if the prize was being able to love them, being able to be with them. So you would take it and you would endure it. You would trust them, deciding what was doable for their career and trusting you, what was doable for your heart.

And it was. It was doable for your heart. They gave so much to you. They trusted you, wanted to make this work. So you had to fight now. Not only for them, for you too. And for the thing you had and you wanted to have in the future.

With a determined look you took out the phone you silenced for days now and turned off the airplane mode. Countless messages flooded your display, but you ignored all of them. Quickly you pressed some buttons and dialed a number with a self-confident smile. After one or two ringing noises, your call was picked up.