Under the Stars

Chapter #6: I Watch the Phone but No One's Calling

Tsukishima wakes up the next morning feeling groggy. Even though he slept soundly through the night, he doesn't feel rested. Again, he is the last to wake up, but this time there are still a few of his teammates in the room, getting changed or folding up their own blankets.

Tadashi is already gone.

Tsukishima feels a pang of guilt as he looks at the distance between their mats and thinks about last night all over again. His emotions aren't numb anymore, and the sight reopens the fresh wound. He must've had a pained expression on his face because Sugawara takes notice.

"You feeling okay, Tsukishima?" he asks.

Tsukki looks up to see a blurred version of his upperclassman. He reaches for his glasses and responds, "Yeah, I'm alright, why?" His voice comes croaky, and he clears his throat.

"You looked a little pained when you woke up, sorry."

"I guess I'm just feeling sore from the near constant training," he lies.

Sugawara hums in response as he goes to fold the last blanket. Tsukishima gets up and folds his own before changing into his gym clothes. By the time he's done, only he and Suga remain in the room. Tsukishima heads toward the door, but he's stopped before he has the chance to leave.

"Are you sure that's what's wrong?"

Tsukishima listens but doesn't turn around.

Sugawara continues, "Sorry, it's just that...I heard you talking in your sleep last night. I don't want to embarrass you, but it was a little bit concerning."

"Well, I don't know what to say about that," Tsukishima says in a clipped tone as he exits the room, not giving Suga a chance to respond.

Tadashi isn't in the cafeteria either, and Tsukishima is hit with another wave of regret. He grabs his breakfast and sits down at Karasuno's table, a small distance away from the rest of the team. The room is as full of conversation and laughter as the day before, but it doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel the same without his best friend sitting right beside him.

Once he's finished eating, he heads to the main gym, which is already packed full of athletes. He goes to Karasuno's area to warm up, and he sees Yamaguchi.

He's practicing sets against the wall, tossing it high and letting it bounce back towards his fingers, over and over. He accidentally fumbles it and it goes rolling.

Right towards Tsukishima.

Tadashi has his eyes on the ball as he chases it down, and then he looks up to see Kei just beyond where it stops. His eyes are dark, expression is blank. He quickly looks away, and snatches up the volleyball without a single word, going back to the wall to continue his warmup.

The whole day, Tsukishima and Tadashi avoid each other. No words of encouragement, no eye contact, nothing. At the end of the day during after hours training, Tsukki goes to train with Kuroo, Akaashi and Bokuto once more. This time, they are joined by Hinata and Nekoma's new middle blocker, Lev Haiba. When he gets back to Karasuno's room, the whole team is already back.

The whole team, except for Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima isn't one to worry, but after a whole day of receiving nothing but silence from Yamaguchi, and realizing how much effort Tadashi is putting in to avoid him, he starts to feel a little nervous. He speeds though his nightly routine and tucks himself in, trying to minimize the amount of time that his anxious thoughts have to slither their way into his mind to keep him up all night.

***

The next day is a repeat of the last. Tsukishima gets up, eats his breakfast, plays volleyball, performs some after hours training with Kuroo, Akaashi, Bokuto, Hinata and Lev, and avoids Yamaguchi the whole time.

Tsukishima's anxiety grows with every passing hour. By the end of the day, he's both physically and mentally exhausted, and his worry is starting to affect his body. He didn't sleep well the night before, so he leaves after hours practice earlier than the rest of the athletes, eager to get some much needed rest.

Now familiar with the school's layout and how to get from building to building, he doesn't need to think about where he's going, allowing anxious thoughts to worm their way into his head.

What if he's already there, and we run into each other? What would I even say? What would he say? What should I say? I can't just go up to him and say 'sorry for brutally insulting you and for generally being terrible, I was just angry'. That's not how it works.

The worry ends up being pointless, as he finds Karasuno's room dark and empty. Just like the night before, he speeds through his nightly routine and gets to sleep as soon as he can.