Over the next few weeks, the team practices 5 days a week in preparation for the Spring High Preliminaries. They all improve their receiving, synchronized attack and defence, and as much as Hinata wants to perfect the new quick attack, he and Kageyama don't spend as much time on it as they hoped for.
However, Tsukishima isn't only practicing volleyball the entire time, he's also working to improve his relationship with Tadashi. He seems to be getting better at talking to him, too, even if he isn't always willing to discuss his feelings. It's started to become natural, too, no longer feeling as if he needs to ask how he's doing. Since Tsukishima already knows his circumstances, Tadashi doesn't see any point in hiding or faking his emotions in front of him, but that doesn't mean he's an open book, either.
It's not just Tsukishima who's been checking in on him, either. Most of the team has too, even the coaches. Whether it be before, after, or even during practice, Tadashi has been pulled aside almost every other day for a little check-in. And even though they know that somethings up, he lies and tells them he's okay, not wanting to burden the others with his issues.
Some days he's great, no forced cheerfulness, a couple smiles and lots of things to say. Some days he doesn't feel too well, low energy but still willing to be honest about how he's doing. And some days he doesn't say anything, no greetings, no goodbyes. Those are the days that worry Tsukishima, concerning him about whether or not he's done something wrong. But then he remembers what his brother told him.
'Don't blame yourself.'
Not once has he asked if Tadashi has hurt himself since that night at the training camp. It's not that he doesn't care, but he fears that the question will make Yamaguchi uncomfortable. Part of him wants confirmation, but another part of him already knows, considering that every time they get changed after practice, he's been asked to turn away.
He hasn't stopped wearing his black long sleeved undershirt either. At first, the team thought it was strange, and a few people asked him about it, even Daichi. But Tadashi explained that he would get a bit cold when standing off the court, and the confusion was cleared soon after, nobody linking it to his low mood.
Now, a month after the summer training, Karasuno sits in the bleachers of the Sendai city gym, about to take on Ohgiminami High at the Spring High Preliminaries. The whole team is on edge, some waddling around nervously, others sitting in silence. Tsukishima sits next to Yamaguchi, who's white as a sheet, anxiety practically radiating from his body.
He gives Tadashi's knee a gentle poke, and he recoils, which - ironically - startles Tsukishima in return.
"Shit, I didn't mean to scare you like that, are you okay?"
He shakes his head, barely distinguishable from how he's already trembling.
For the last month, Tsukishima has been improving on how to help Yamaguchi with his depression. Now that it's his anxiety that he is dealing with, he doesn't know what to say. So instead, he goes back to what he used to do to comfort him.
Action.
He reaches into his bag, grabbing his iPod shuffle and his headphones, places them over Yamaguchi's ears and clicks the play button. Almost instantaneously, his muscles relax and he closes his eyes, letting the music wash over his overstimulated senses. He places a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder, a way of letting him know that he's still there beside him.
A few minutes later, Coach Ukai approaches the team, letting them know that it's time to warm up. As everyone else gets up, Tsukishima gently pats Tadashi's shoulder, letting him know that it's time to go. He opens his eyes and removes the headphones himself, handing them back to Tsukki.
"Thank you," he says quietly, eyes displaying a gratitude that words cannot express.
"No problem," he responds. Before heading to the court he holds one side of his headphones to his ear for a brief moment to hear an unfamiliar melody of electric guitar with heavy bass and drums to back it up. While it was his type of music, he hadn't heard that particular song before.
Strange, he thinks, I don't remember downloading this.
He shrugs and stuffs the devices back into his bag and runs to catch up with the rest of the team.
YOU ARE READING
Under the Stars
Fanfiction"Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" "What the hell? Of course not! Why would you even ask something like that?" "I don't know, the thought just came to my mind I guess." Tsukishima Kei was never one to socialize or be overly friendly. A...
