Call My Name by the Stars

CHAPTER 16- First Loves

<2019>

"We've invited a very special guest for our podcast today. Thurzday!," Noeul cheered as the boys clapped.

"It's such a coincidental timing, that you guys were invited when our planned topic of discussion for this episode is, "First Loves". Woos and ahhs followed. It wasn't coincidental obviously, they were already informed beforehand.

"What do you say Thurzday? Have you ever experienced a first love? If it's alright, would you like to share it?"

Jaeryeong looked down at the table, nervous about the question.

"I had one. But it was in middle school. She caught feelings for another guy so we broke up," Kitae laughed.

"Me too, mine was in highschool. I just got busier," Chunyoung followed.

"Well for me, we didn't date. I had a crush on my childhood neighbor, but I never confessed," Daehyun said and Noeul reacted with an "Awhh" to keep the mood going.

"Jaeryeong, what about you?," she asked, seeing he wasn't talking much.

"Me? Uhmm, I think I did?," he looked at his members unconvincingly, but they gave him back the "it's fine" look so he continued, "it was one-sided. I used to didn't understand why people said unrequited love is more painful than couples who broke up, until I went through it myself."

"Oh why? Was there a rejection?"

"Yes, but I think more than that, I felt more bad for her. I mean, that was a really long time ago, but back then, I didn't really realize how much I was burdening her because of my feelings, until-...," he stopped, thinking he's revealing too much, "until she had to avoid me because of how people perceived it."

Chunyoung glared at him for how personal and deeply affected he sounded from across the table, so Jaeryeong tightened his lips innocently.

Noeul nodded, "I see, yes, I think most people who went through such unrequited first loves tend to see it that way too. Even if it's been a long time, thoughts like that do still stay with people."

Thurzday nodded.

"Then, to lift off your guilt a little, why don't you say something to her now in case she's watching this podcast?"

Jaeryeong leaned to the recorder and looked at the camera, "Right, uhhh well, if you're seeing this...I'm sorry."

<2021>

Kang Min ran from the restaurant street to the next, all while avoiding the eyes of people, searching for that long black haired woman in a black tee and baggy gray jeans.

But, he knew it was no use. If it was him, he wouldn't flock in a place with many happy faces. Just like where he would've gone 9 years ago, a quiet place, muted noises from things that weren't people, and the view that would've accompanied and comforted the lonely heart. It was the same place.

He was right when he sprinted to the start of the bridge. On the edge, he saw her bent her body dangerously over the railings, crying. She was looking at the dark sea, and not the trains and buildings from Seoul. All kinds of thoughts went through his mind when his heart started pounding in fear. He put his mask down his chin, and shouted from afar, "Baek Jooah!"

Jooah's stomach strained knowing he followed her, but more than that, because he let the world hear her real name. She stayed in position and took a deep breath without looking at him who interrupted her moment to dwell on her emotions, "Gosh I'm really not in the mood to-"