Forever & Always (A Ross Lynch Love Story)

Chapter 44: Slipping Away

Here ya go Tiani! :D since you've been dropping hints that you want the next chapterrrrrrr... Yep.

I know it's kind of cheesy to name a chapter after a song, and then have the song in the chapter, but whatever :p I don't know, i wrote this at 1:30AM so don't expect anything special in this xD keep your expectations lowwwww. Anyway, yeah. Slipping Away is by Greyson Chance, aka my husband. :D comment, fan, & vote!!!!

Chapter 44

Slipping Away

"Jordan?" Ross asked worriedly, watching me poke at my untouched hamburger.

"Yeah?" I muttered distantly.

"Are you ok?" He rubbed his hand up and down my thigh gently.

I bit my lip, avoiding his gaze.

No, I thought. But I couldn't tell him that. "Yeah." I attempted a smile, but by the way Ross's frown deepened it obviously had failed. After our run-in with the jogger the day before, my self esteem had immediately plummeted. In a matter of hours I found myself doubting my love for Ross because of it. Did I TRULY love him? Did I really love him enough to go through all of the Criticism and hate I get just for being his girlfriend? All of the lie people believed about me, and then taunted me about? After our little walk, I had gone on my twitter (which I hadn't done in a LONG time...) and read everyone's tweets to me. Some were nice, but others just made me want to curl up in a ball and die. Things like "I hate you, I wish you'd get hit by a car", "You don't deserve Ross, you're too ugly for him.", et centra. No matter how small the comments may seem, when you know they're directed at you with such venom, and you read it over and over, you start to believe it.

I immediately started eating less. The fans thought I was fat? The jogger thought I was pregnant? Maybe if I lost some weight they'd get off my back about it. Ross had obviously noticed my sudden change in mood, and he tried all of his gestures that usually made me feel loved and wanted, and like we were in this together. But now? I didn't know what I felt. Something between annoyance, confusion, and guilt, maybe.

I couldn't seem to make up my mind as to whether or not I still loved Ross. It's amazing how quick I can start to doubt things.

Riker, who was sitting on the other side of the table (across from me) motioned for me to follow him as he stood up. Cautiously I stood up, slowly following him over to the bathrooms.

"What's wrong?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I fiddled with a strand of my hair, avoiding his gaze and instead examining the very enticing black carpeted floors.

"Jordan," riker sighed, putting a finger under my chin and forcing me to look up into his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked forcefully.

Tear started streaming down my face. "I don't know if I still love Ross or not," I whispered.

Rikers jaw dropped. "But you-- even yesterday-- like-- love-- it was-- but--"

"Spit it out!!" I snapped angrily.

"Why?" He managed.

Tears started flowing in a thicker stream; I didn't bother to wipe them away. "After our encounter with the jogger, I went on twitter, and everything everyone says is so horrible. No one likes me. I just the ugly, fat girl who happened to get her paws on Ross Lynch..." I started gasping for breath. "And I... I realized.... Or I was thinking... Do I really love Ross enough to endure that for him?"

Riker's face turned to stone. "He does it for you."

"I know," I started sobbing harder. "And I know he loves me, but right now I'm just so confused..." It had all been so sudden. Even though Ross had been sitting right next to me, my feelings just suddenly changed. When he kissed me, I didn't feel the same sparks. The tingles. There was something, but nothing compared to what it used to be.