Hush Baby Im here

Chapter 29

Two moon crescent shapes curved jaggedly towards each other, already healed, there was no mistaking the bite.

I stared at it for a long time, tears dripping from my cheeks silently.
Why does this matter?
What does it mean?

My mind buzzed with thought.
Why haven't I turned?

I knew I couldn't tell anyone, not Maggie or Carl, not even Daryl. I could hurt them, I could turn right now. Or in my sleep, and stamper around the house, biting at the ones I love.
Judith.

Oh god. Bile rose in my mouth as my stomach tightened, I spit at the bushes, a sour taste on my tongue.

My pale shaky fingers tugged my knife from my belt.
I could end it, right here right now.
No one gets hurt.

That wasn't true. I thought of Maggie and how she'd react when they found me, the same blood from my wrist she tried to hold in two years ago.

I thought about Daryl, who carried me out if the hospital with my head soaking his shirt, while his tears soaked my face.

I lowered the knife to the ground, sobs shaking my body.

The sun sped through the sky and soon stars started to appear, still I sat in the same place, staring at the same ground.
Oh lord. Please let me be alright.

Squeezing my eyes shut I silently prayed.

I didn't know the time, but eventually I got up and stumbled back to the house, entering as quietly as I could. It was dark, and I could see Eugene's chest move up and down as he slept on the couch.

I crept up the stairs, cursing when I realized I had forgot my sweater at Pete's house.

"You okay?"

My heart jump started as the voice surprised from behind when I reached the top of the stair.

Daryl laid on the same couch he slept in two nights ago, looking oddly relaxed.

I nodded, speeding by.

Quickly, I shut the door, locking it behind me. Lying on the bed I moved under the covers, tossing and turning until I finally gave up on sleep.

I laid and stared at the ceiling, tears falling from the corners of my eyes silently, even though I tried so hard not to cry.

But only with a heard the soft knock on door did my heart really break. I knew it was Daryl and I so badly wanted to get up cross the room and let him in.

Yet I was rooted to the bed, common sense telling me I'd have to cut everyone I loved away from me. His knuckles gently rapped the door one more time and I shook with sobs clutching the blanket with my fists.

I didn't release them, not even when I heard him leave my door, or an hour later when I still sat and thought about the bite, evading sleep.

...

I woke up to the a steady pounding on my door, not even remembering going to sleep. I jolted awake, I had been dreaming about a swimming pool in the middle of the forest. 

"Beth. Come on its already lunch!" Maggie called from outside the hall.

I groaned, sitting up, when everything flooded back to me, my heart beat quickening.

Frantically, I searched through the closet.

"Crap." I muttered under my breath when I recalled I left my only sweater at Pete's. I pulled on a long sleeve shirt and headed for the door, careful not to show my wrist.

"Sorry." I said groggily pulling the door open to reveal a skittish Maggie.

"You okay?" She asks, for the millionth time.

I nodded and forced a smile, pushing past her and heading for the bathroom. I left the lights off and closed the door, wondering how I was going to cut my sister off.
Maybe you should just die.

My inner voice sneered, you are weak after all.

I shoved past the thought but yet my nerves were all on end, secretly believing it was true.

Suddenly my knees gave way, there was nothing left in my stomach, yet it heaved, wanting to throw anything up. Sweat lined my forehead, so I pressed my face along the cold tile, my hands as well. It felt like ice.

...

I managed to exit the bathroom and head downstairs. Everyone had left long ago, the clock read 1:30pm.

The fridge was fairly stocked, but yet I only managed to choke down a slice of toast.

"Beth?" A young male voice asked behind me.

"Yeah?" I turned towards Noah, he looked a lot better since the road. His face fuller, eyes brighter.

"Me, Glenn, and Tara are going on a run with some in the people here, did you want to come?" He asked kindly.

"I just don't feel up for it." I shrugged, and he did the same.

"But your coming to the party tonight right?"

"Hm?"

"Deanna is throwing like a, gathering for us new arrivals tonight and we're the main guest. It's a dressy event."

When I didn't respond he quickly added, "If you want, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you didn't show."

"No, its good. I'll come." I smiled kindly at him. Which he returned, before waving and leaving me to think on my own.
Crap. What did I just agree to?

Sighing I figured I'd quickly go get my sweater before moping and pitying myself again.
No. Do something with yourself. If your gonna die anyways, why not make the best of it?

I shrugged at myself and headed out the door, walking to Pete's and Jessie's.

I approached the front door with ease, just about to knock when a sound caught my attention. It sounding like a women's crying. At first I thought it was for outside the house, so I walked around the yard to find nothing.

I peeked into their window, Jessie stood by the counter, her head hung low as Pete blew up on her. Yelling and cursing. Tears slid from her eyes, and when I looked across the room, I saw the younger boy from the photo cower in the corner.

My whole body stiffened as I watch Jessie spin towards the ground, Pete's hand having hit so hard. She quickly sat up clutching her cheek, Pete just scowled and left the room, heading up stairs.

Then for a second our eyes met, or I swear they did, but yet he continued up the stairs like they hadn't.

The young boy rushed to his mother hugging and comforting her. My heart clenched, as I backed away from the porch. Heading back home, the sweater can wait,

I told myself just as a shout erupted down the street.