His (Book 1) {Currently EDITING}

Forty

Ellie 

I leaned back onto the closet floor and pulled him with me. I felt him straddle my waist and he kissed me deeper. I loved him so much... so why couldn't I still tell him? Everyday when I woke up and saw those beautiful green eyes stare at me with so much love and care, I always feel a twinge of guilt in my stomach. Here he was not even scared to let me know how he felt, and in a way, he had more things done to him than I did. And he was so nice to me and took such good care of me and my feelings. And I don't know... I'm feeling something that I haven't in such a long time. And now its even more intense than I've ever felt. What if he got sick of me? Or found a better looking girl than I and decided to leave me for her. It has always been my fear in life that someone whouldn't see me as enough. But I knew in this moment that we shared, nothing else mattered but me and hi- 

 "Alright, come on let's go get dinner started."

"What?" I asked breathless

"Come on, let's get dinner started." 

I. was. floored!  

"What's the matter?" I asked him 

"Nothing Pet, I'm starving. Come on let's get this food cooked." 

I sat there dumbfounded as he opened the closet and let the light from the bedroom flow in. I slowly got up, disappointed, and followed close behind him. I hid my feelings as we prepared the chicken Alfredo. He put some smooth music on and poured us some wine to sip while everything cooked. I tried hiding it, but I was very standoffish during the cooking period. 

"Pet what's wrong?" He asked 

"Nothing." 

His face took a stern look. 

"Do not lie to me Ellie. Now, tell me what is the matter." 

I sighed and put my wine glass down. 

"When we were.... in the closet, why did you leave so abruptly?" 

"I was hungry." 

I arched my brow. 

"Oh? And that's the only reason?" I asked him 

He set his own wine glass down and took his hands in mine. 

"If I made you upset I'm sorry, we could always go back to the closet." 

"It's not the fact that you left, it's just.... we were having a moment and then you ran for the door quickly. Why?" 

"You're a virgin Ellie...I, I can't do that to you if you're gonna regret it."