RETROUVAILLES - POETRY

59 - a letter

march 8th, 2022.
10:23 pm.

hi, do you still remember me?
the past 5 years,
i wrote to you here about how i still think about you.

i still do,
sometimes, yeah
but it isn't full of adoration anymore.

you did gave me shelter,
a roof over my head,
while you nurse me back to health,
running in a sea of blooming sunflowers.

and i will never thank you enough for it.

march 27th 2021,
a very important day for me to always cherish
and remember.
it is because,
i met someone.
who gave me a new meaning,
a new purpose,
to look past the horizon again.

i don't see you in him,
because you are not him.

he showed me his flaws without clawing deeper in,
he never questioned my past,
he held me cautiously,
he gave me warm feeling on the tips of my fingers.

we used to stargaze together,
because you know how much i love the stars.
but with him,
i see the stars in his eyes instead.

yes, you gave me a roof over my head,
but he,
he came to me with tattered edges,
and a warm hug.
its as if i was kissed by a million fireflies.
the look,
of pure adoration and love.
even when i broke down,
sharp claws,
bloody fingertips,
he engulfed me with everything he got.

something you...
never gave me.

i realised,
how much i'm worth after you left.
it took me years,
to finally come back to my senses.

yes, you gave me a reason to breathe,
but he gave me the strength to wake up every morning.

you cared for my inner child,
but he healed her instead.
you said, "it's okay to feel pain. i do too"
but he told me, "it's okay to let go of things that hurt"

i,
i honestly don't know where this is going.
i think i've written a lot of farewell letters to you,
but i think,

this is it.

my heart and soul are no longer bound to you anymore.

thank you for leaving.
if you see me again,
somewhere,
anywhere,
please greet him with a smile too.