RETROUVAILLES - POETRY

62 - mother

i wish to be a good mother.
i have never thought of seeing myself as a mother.
would i be able to be a good mother?
will my child look up to me like how i look up to my mother?
would my child adore me as much as i do with my mother?

my mother gave me everything she had to raise me.
all those sleepless nights, am i able to do that one day?
even when she is exhausted beyond anything she never fails to crack a smile or laugh with me.

giving birth doesn't define what being a mother is, then what does?
she could simply walk away for whatever reason there may be,
but does it make her a mother for staying?

my mother gave me comfort and joy.
her hugs feel warm.
her smile brightens up my day.
my mother is the reason why i am still here, breathing.
she gave me hope.
she IS my hope.
a mother would run through a forest fire just to keep you from harms way.

i remember she would stay up reading me a bed time story because she knew it was my favourite thing to do before bed.
she would play with my hair and hums me a theme song from barney so i would fall asleep easier.
she would stay up late at night and make sure i am asleep because i have night terrors growing up.
even when she didn't have any money, she would save up months on end so she could buy me something for my birthday.

she might not be a perfect mother to some,
but to me, she did everything she could
and i am always going to be proud of her.

she taught me how i should be treated by other men,
with love and respect.
she might not be my biological mother,
but that doesn't make her any less of a mother.

am i able to do that one day?
i hope i am half as good as her.
i wish to give my child a hope for the future too.
the strengths to keep going when everything else falls apart.
i wish to be a good mother.