if i could just once have a conversation with my past self; my younger self, i would say, "you know, it didn't hurt that much now. it used to, yeah. my world was in shambles; nothing made sense to me anymore. i thought about countless ways for me to end that pain and all that was in my head was drawing a red line. there was mutiple attempts but i regretted all of it. fortunate to say, it wasn't worth the shot. i held it together and after a few more years of feeling so fucking worthless, i finally found a reason to be here. well, one, i finally realised and the other one was us, finding another purpose. another reason, to breath. to see another day of light. you don't really feel your heart beating, your stomach churning now do you? the world at some point will be so so vibrant and beautiful for you that you will never wanna give anything up ever again, not even your own life. for once, everything made sense for us. for once, we felt, alive. and well, yeah, it won't last for long. even pretty flowers wilt and die at some point. but please, trust in us. don't lose hope. that person gave you a place to stay in this world, they made your demons theirs. they shared every little bits with you. no words in this universe will ever describe how much that person meant to us.
at the end of time, we will one day stand beside them. for now, carry on. move foward for us. it gets tougher each way, your path will bent in all the ways you can't imagine but hey, but you'll get there. a very long way for you to go though, i'll see you then."
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RETROUVAILLES - POETRY
Poetrywords that i can't speak out loud but in poetry, i can.
