Never Be Tamed

Chapter 41: The Beta

Chapter 41: The Beta

"What do you mean you've volunteered?"

Ito ang bungad sa'kin ni Anabeth nang malaman ang balita galing kay Senior Violeta. We just had our dinner at pabalik na sa kanya-kanyang kwarto para magpahinga.

"I took the program," maikling sagot ko nang buksan ang pinto ng aking kwarto.

Sumunod si Anabeth sa loob, hindi parin makapaniwala. It was the  month long volunteer program in far-off villages. Away from the town proper, away from familiar faces.

"I mean why?" Her voice faded before she sighed, watching me with worry.

Anabeth knew the reason why. I've always been interested since I've learned about the program. But the larger reason was... I wanted to get away.

"Was it because of what happened in the party?"

I sat on the edge of my bed in silence while Anabeth took the chair opposite the desk. The party... I didn't want to remember anything related to the party. I've been trying to forget it for days. But the pain remained here... in my chest.

His stare, the announcement, the way they dance... Rebecca.

"Eleanor," Anabeth offered, this time her voice was softer. "You're escaping."

"Is it wrong?" I mumbled, staring at my palms on my lap. "I don't want to feel this pain, Anabeth. I have no right to feel so pained. If going  away means numbing myself from the pain, then I would take the chance."

Anabeth remained staring at me. "I'm sorry," she then stated. "I didn't realize how much this is hurting you."

Umiling ako. It was no one's fault. I brought it upon myself. For the last several months, Zackary had been close to me I thought I could reach him... but I was wrong.

I smiled, the corners of my eyes stinging. "I'll be okay. It's only for a month."

Anabeth had a lot more things to say, pero pinili niyang intindihin ang nararamdaman ko. Bumuntong-hininga siya, tumayo at inabot ang palad ko.

"Whatever makes your pain fade, Eleanor. You can count my support."

For the next few days, I did nothing else, think of nothing else, but to prepare for the program. I packed things, had meetings with the senior staff to orient me about the program, the things I needed to do, the process of staying in the villages, medicines and materials I needed to bring with me.

I had to cover four villages in the entire program. It seems like a large responsibility to take. But I was more than willing. Even though the senior staff, just like Anabeth, was worried about my sudden decision to go. They knew what happened at the party. They knew how Zackary  and I used to be so close... but it was nothing for me but a foolish  dream.

The day before my departure, I was fully prepared for the program. I  had my things packed in my room and after several months of staying in the apothecary... I couldn't believe I would leave it this way. The first ever place I could call my home.

But I'll be okay. When I come back, I could face him again and hopefully... it would no longer hurt. I still wanted to help Van Zanth as much as I could.

Noong gabing 'yon, nagtungo si Anabeth sa kwarto ko. Nakita niya ang malinis na kwarto at ang mga dadalhin kong gamit, which only  consisted of two bags.

"I wish I could come with you," she mumbled with guilt on her voice.

"You need to be here," I told her. "No one would assist the senior staff kung pareho tayong aalis." I had to assure her it was fine and it was nothing to feel guilty about.