Hopes Of Anna

Chapter Forty-Seven: Home.

Sheela didn't love Andre enough to steal from her father but she did love money more than Andre. I paid her $100 to get her father's phone for us and Sheela did, so easily but we had to return the phone as soon as possible. The plan was to threaten K.L to meet with the principal (us) and I was okay with the plan until K.L actually agreed to it. I took my palm to my lips as Caldwell gave him the address. We were using a false voice as well as K.L. It was a very dangerous plan but it looked like the rest of my group had no problem with it. K.L wouldn't reveal himself that easily. I was surprised my group members did not think the same but that was why I was there, I was the brain after all. There was no way we could use K.L's number to call the principal up to the same address. Sheela plainly refused to help us in anyway that seemed implicating of her father and it was really implicating though. But he was a criminal still. He still sold drugs to kids which was very very wrong, for a principal at that. Good thing was that the principal was back in school after all and what Sheela wouldn't do at home, we could do at school.
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The plan was to lure the principal also to the address we were luring K.L to. We realized K.L would not show his face to someone he couldn't see so we had to make them both meet, to convince themselves they were in no way deceived. Without Sheela this would be hard but we did it with Dr. Patel so it was not impossible. We chose Caldwell for the mission. After all he had been in the principal's office the most after Marie.
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My group members were working fast; too fast for me to keep up. These days, my brain could not keep up with anything. I often went blank. Recovery from drug addiction was as bad as drug addiction itself. I still had not told anybody about finger-dip so I dealt with my meltdowns alone, when Marie was not home. Sometimes I took pain relieves and any other drug I could find in Marie's house but nothing was like finger dip and sobriety was so not my thing, I had come to realize.
The disturbance was just too much, it was just like being hungry. I went to the school's clinic and said I was feeling unwell. I knew the nurse would give me drugs to take even though nothing was wrong with me. Caldwell entered the clinic when I was taking the drugs the nurse instructed me to. He came with her—her.
'Are you alright?' He asked, sitting next to me.
'I will be. You?' I could see the sickly one was the girl but I still asked.
'My cousin is unwell.' He said. I nodded. Cousin. I kept nodding because I was thinking about it! The girl was his cousin. Did this mean I have a chance with Caldwell? It was silly of me to think about anything with Caldwell but here I was, really thinking about it.
         'Anna are you okay?' Caldwell asked.
        'Yes.' I stared at him. I love you. I said under my breath. I did love him, it was him and it was love. It was not like Caldwell was a better person from what he was, but I realized his worth and how much he meant to me. I was ready to love him and conquer everything against us. I kept it all inside me wishing I could tell him.
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I went back home. Home was now quiet and torn. A place we all hated to return to. No one was home. I stayed in the porch waiting for whoever was going to arrive first. I had missed home a little, most of home being finger-dip. It was the reason I returned. Marie said I was not myself and it was because I missed home. She did not know finger-dip was my dear home. Mom would arrive first. Andre was busy shooting a movie and Dad—he was not part of the family anymore. He gave mum the house but she refused it. I knew it, we were going to move away from the town I had come to enjoy. The only town that had the ability to change me. I gave a loud sigh, I didn't cry this time at least. That was sad though. It felt like I was getting used to sadness and depression. Andre hated a lot of things; from our father to his inability to control his rage but my brother's sadness and depression never lasted. Words could calm him down because he was very open about his feelings. He did not have to say before a person would know he was unhappy and most people liked Andre so no one wanted to see his cute face sad. I on the other hand would rather die in silence than let anyone see me depressed even though I often was. I was never really happy but sharing my emotions was never easy for me and I have managed it for as long as I could remember. Sometimes I felt like it ate me up slowly. Sometimes I felt like all my pain would rush out one day and burn me painfully. I would literally be on flames crying and people would ask "where", "how", "why". I was clean of drugs but I sure felt high thinking about so many things.
          A car drove in and parked beside our house. It was an unfamiliar car but I could see my mother inside. I walked up to the car. It was Pedro. Mom got down from the car as soon as she saw me.
           'Em...Anna. We just...Pedro and I.' Her voice was trembling. She was scared of how I would take it. I told myself to be happy that my mom could find little happiness despite all she was going through.
             'It's alright. I'm...I'm cool.' I said forcing a smile. It was worth it because my mother's face lit up and I could see relief and joy. It made me happy. She smiled at Pedro who was now standing beside her.